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On the Edge
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On the Edge |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
On the Edge =========== Alone, I walk in the park. It may be a warm, sunny day. People may be chattering. Birds singing. Children playing. A day like any other it may be, but it seems like another world. A world I am looking at through glass, stuck on the inside like a fly, or a biological specimen; goodness knows Life has experimented on me in every foul way it could. I walk on, the path curves round a corner. It is just past this corner that I find Death. Waiting for me. I have never met Death before, but I know it is he. Who else could it be? “What have I to live for?” I ask myself repeatedly and, finding no answer I finally take Death’s outstretched hand and we walk together. I am momentarily shocked at the distinct coolness of his fingers wrapped around mine. Then it seems only right, fitting that he should be cold, matching the extreme chill in my heart. ”Where are you taking me?” I ask as he hurries me along a path I’ve never before followed. “The place of eternal peace and happiness” he replies, without so much as a glance in my direction. His voice is a thousand vultures swooping down to a semi-decayed carcass. His nails are digging in to my wrist, the pain is dull, aching, and spreads through me in waves. Outside me it gets colder too and I start to shiver. Never have I felt more alone. I wonder where this place is but before I can enquire, we stop at the edge of a steep precipice. Death looks deep into my eyes and starts to chant, it’s as though he is putting my soul under a spell. His eyes are glowing like bright red rubies, penetrating my heart and mind. I focus on these pools of blood and they swirl round and round. I sway in time with them and soon everything is spinning. The moment I feel I can’t stay upright any longer, everything is still once more. I am filled with fear; I can feel him pushing me slowly toward the edge. Then all is silent again. He steps back and smiles in a way only Death can. “I’m scared”, I say. “Don’t be, my child, it will all be over soon. Just take one step and you will be free”. My legs grow leaden as memories fill my mind. I see myself as a child, running, jumping and playing. I see myself on my first day at high school. I was happy then...what went wrong? I feel so alone. I want to talk to Death, find out what’s waiting. I turn back and start to speak, but words fail me. I stand momentarily paralysed, mutely staring at Death. He stares back. “I don’t want to die…” I whisper finally. Death puts his arms around me, hugging me tightly. I want to burst out laughing, it’s like hugging a snowman, but my heart is too frost bitten for anything but tears. Why is Death the only one who cares? The more he hugs me, the calmer I feel, icy to the core. Finally he releases me and directs me once more to face the edge. The cliff edge looks so inviting...one step and all this could be over. The wind whips my hair across my face as I gaze at the sea crashing against the rocks below. I am about to take the last step between here and there when I hear a scream. “NO! DON’T DO IT”. I hesitate. I want to do it, don’t I? “Quickly!” Death whispers in my ear. “Go now and be free”. I am confused now. Do I or don’t I? I turn in the direction of the voice I had heard moments before. “Karen, I love you. Don’t do it”. It is Jessica. “Go away” I say. “Leave me alone like everybody else has”. “No” she says. “I won’t let you do this”. She walks toward me and as she reaches me wraps her arms around me. I resist for a moment Death is calling me. “DON”T TURN AWAY FROM YOUR CHANCE OF FREEDOM”. I am still unsure of myself. I don’t know which way to turn. Life and Death are playing Tug-of-war with me. I break down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably. Jessica puts her hand on my arm and gently guides me away from the edge. “It will be ok,” she soothes me. The sound of her voice clears my cloudy mind. “How?” I ask her. “Everything is wrong”. She pulls me close to her and hugs me again. “Let’s go home,” she says. She takes my hand and we start to walk back toward the town. Death walks with us. “You can still come with me”. He whispers. Jessica doesn’t hear him. I hesitate once more. Jessica feels my hesitation. “You belong with us Honey,” she says softly. “It is not your time yet.“ I stop and look into her eyes. The warmth and compassion glowing in them make up my mind. I give Death a shove and he falls down on the path. I hold Jessica's hand tightly, and we walk on together. “I love you,” she keeps telling me. Maybe there is hope for me after all…but what happens when Death gets up again? "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ [This message has been edited by ESP (06-06-2003 06:30 PM).] |
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laurie Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153canada, ontario |
l like... l really really like. you've captured teh voice to a question l've asked a thousand times before, though l never realized what l was thinking when l was thinking it... hehhe. anyway, you've got style... it's poignnnt or soemthing.. laurie. |
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