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Choices of Love
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Choices of Love |
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Juliette Junior Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 13Colorado |
I have spent most of my adult life reading and learning how to live in this complicated world. How to be a better person and how to love in the greatest of my ability. By no means has this made me an authority on anything but gave me a basis for personal growth. After several years spent reading and learning much of the same things over and over I came to accept these things because I realized how could all these people who have had great successes in their lives all be wrong. All of them had great failures as well but if anything I learned, none of them regretted doing their best and this is how they created their success. None of them regretted the risks they took, loving deeply, or surrendering for the love they were seeking. Selfishness never brought love into our lives but only loneliness. To extend yourself to and for another person gives you courage and having it returned gives you strength. That is how great things are achieved. Where the happiness of another person is essential to your own. To care for the significant other as you would a child with the same love and compassion. Always having consideration and regard for the other. To unite the other person’s soul into your own for the moments we must make decisions we already know in our hearts what the answers are for the benefit of the two. No one is deprived of choices or experiences humiliation or indignity. To love the other as you would yourself. Selfishness is a choice! I cannot express that enough. It is a choice not to love. A choice not to love ourselves or another. It is a deliberate act to bring on guilt and loneliness. It is self -punishment. We are not rewarding ourselves in any way when we choose this mode of thought or action. Ultimately it fertilizes our already suffering self-esteem. Some may consider these ideas a fairytale but I believe with all my heart that these things are and can be real in an intimate union. For one to say I have no experience with this or I don’t know how to do this is a cop-out. For every person on this earth has experienced the love of another and has given love in various degrees, some more than others. How can one not know what that feels like, how can one not know how to extend themselves. Has not every living person experienced love of a parent, love of a spouse, of a significant other, or even a pet. The only thing we need to choose is to practice it every moment of every day. It is only about being selfless and surrendering. No one has ever died (which is our greatest fear) from giving or receiving love. In fact the contrary is true. Many babies and elderly die every day for lack of being able to receive or give love. We all want to be accepted and loved for who we are on the inside. All the external things that we have and do in this life are extremely vulnerable to change. If we believe that if we are loved for what we do rather than what we are internally and the external changes the questions surmount…will I and am I still loved? Filled with doubt because the love seems to come from the external places. Watching two people back away any time these external situations arise, and the external self becomes transformed. Every day our external world changes. This is not a bad thing. It means that there is much growth in your life and for that you can be grateful. At first sight or impact this may not be the first thought but for every challenge, every problem that one must face we have much internal growth, gain self-confidence, and able to love more deeply because of it. We find renewed gratitude for the people in our lives. We can find our beliefs challenged which will only strengthen, and your personal identity reinforced. When first challenged one can feel very small, unworthy, and not even entitled to breathe the same air as another. Once that passes and you has come back to who you are and what you want in this life. Never give up in trying achieve the love you deserve nor the belief that every person on this earth is able to give and receive this love. Allow this to become your purpose for your existence. Somewhere in your heart you already know that when you deprive others of love, consideration, compassion, respect, support…you also deprive yourself. If those things were alive in your relationship you would have all the things you desire. The trust, the power, to go after the things you desire in the external world without guilt. I cannot show you how this is done for it is already is inside you. To be great in all things, all things must come from us on an internal level. To love ourselves, to love others as we do ourselves. To risk loving deeply and letting others know the depth of that love with our words and our actions. To remove the inconsistencies. For in love there are no inconsistencies. Fear will only give us the wrong answers and the wrong decisions. We only panic in the face of fear. How can one give or receive love in the face of fear/panic? In psychology it is taught that when one’s internal alarm goes off (which is the body’s acknowledgement of fear) every human being will react in one of two ways…fight or flight. The only answer to remove either one of those reactions is to respond and move mentally/emotionally/physically to a place of love, which is safe and nurturing. Not to a place of selfishness. Only then can we feel the comforts of love. Seemingly, no one wants to take the time nor has the patience to listen. No one wants to know the pain or consequences of the deprivation that occurs when these things are missing in your life. Often times people have their own agendas and don’t have the patience. Isn’t the focus about feelings? And not about how quickly someone can slide you from sadness/anger to acceptance in 30 minutes or less? Even though you may reject this kind of love and this way of loving I will continue to believe it is possible and it is the way we were intended to co-exist. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Lots of nice thoughts...James |
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