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Insomnia
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Insomnia |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Insomnia I hope none of you is ever cursed with insomnia. It’s the cruelest ailment known to man. I’d rather have rabies and foam at the mouth than suffer one more night of sleeplessness. There are some up sides to this though. I know now that if I ever became blind, I could function in my house. I’ve learned to walk through my house without turning on the lights. This is in deference to my nosy neighbors. God only knows what they would imagine me doing if the lights came on in my bedroom at 2 a.m.! They’d probably think I had a lover and we were going to have sex with the lights on. But that’s not going to happen. To be able to sleep with someone you have to at least be able to sleep. It’s no wonder then that I find myself seeing things. The first night I woke and saw her standing at the foot of my bed, I almost wet myself. I gasped and jumped..well..it was more like a very unladylike twitch. I closed my eyes quickly and when I opened them again she was gone. At first I blamed it on the pizza I’d had, but I knew that wasn’t the cause. I checked my can of Diet Coke for side effects. And other than caffeine addiction and possible hair loss, there was no ingredient that may cause hallucinations. I slept fitfully that night after seeing her. But the next night I stayed awake hoping to see if I was just seeing things or truly going crazy like my ex husband always predicted. I didn’t see her at all - and it was the longest night of my life. So I guess crazy wins. Tossing and turning can get frustrating after 4 or 5 hours. So middle of the night infomercials become my sleeping pill of choice. I won’t take the real kind. I’m afraid I wouldn’t wake up. So after about three weeks of sleeping fitfully or not at all and being so tired at work that if I close my eyes I get dizzy and almost fall off my chair, I decided to take a day off. I turned off my 5:30 a.m. alarm and slept in until an amazingly late 8 o’clock! I got up and ate something – nothing like caffeine addiction and possible hair loss to boost your metabolism! By 8:20 I was back in bed sleeping. It was like that all day. Two hour naps with snacks. Sort of like short airplane rides without the turbulence. By the end of the day I worried that I wouldn’t sleep that night. But I was wrong. By 9 p.m. I was sound asleep. By 2 a.m. I was startled awake. She stood there against the wall by my bed. I could barely see her though I could see everything else in my room clearly. (I am probably becoming a mole.) Her hair was stringy and brown – like a dirty blonde that hadn’t been washed in some time. She wore a strange looking dress – something between a grannie dress and nightgown. She stared at me. I could feel her eyes just staring at me. Like she couldn’t talk but wanted me to read her eyes. I whispered some question. What does one say to an hallucination anyway? But there was no answer. She sighed and I could feel the hot breath of it across my cheek. Suddenly, I was sad. It was as though she put her emotions into that one breath and gave it to me to explain why she came to me in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to feel. I just wanted to sleep. So I closed my eyes. And she was gone. Two nights passed before I saw her again. The next time, I woke and she was sitting on the floor against the wall. Her body was shaking slightly as though she wept, but I heard no sobs. She sighed and I felt an overwhelming pain as the breath touched my face. She looked up at me then and now I could see her more clearly. Her left eye was swollen shut. Her mouth bled. She held her left arm at an awkward angle. I knew what had happened without asking. I closed my eyes and she was gone. But I was in no mood to sleep. I needed to write this vision down. So I came here, to my computer and in the middle of the night began writing what I learned in that short warm painful breath from my apparition. ** Her name was Esther. She grew up in a middle class neighborhood where all the mothers belonged to the PTA and all the fathers had blue collar jobs and families got together in their back yards every weekend for a barbeque. But there was something different about Esther. She was neglected. Not just ignored. Each day after school she’d go home, put her books in her room and leave the house. Her parents started their nightly ritual fight when her dad came home from work. Being an only child was easy. She didn’t have to worry about a younger sibling getting cold or hungry. She only had to take care of herself. She’d hide in the branches of a maple tree in her yard. Or slip into the doghouse in the neighbor’s back yard if it rained or snowed. She watched her house carefully and when the lights in the bedroom went out she knew she could go home. She did her homework and went to sleep. It was like that every day of her life. Every single day. One time she found ten dollars on the street and that night, instead of hiding out until the fighting stopped, she skipped off to a local diner. She had mashed potatoes and gravy and meatloaf and green beans and apple pie. And she had a Coke. She wasn’t allowed Coke at home. Coke was saved to mix with the rum. And so Esther grew up, knowing things that a child shouldn’t know. And being so alone most of the time that she never felt bad for herself. *** I dragged myself back to bed and slept. Grateful that Esther’s story wasn’t long. But two nights later she came back. ...to be continued. good night. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
ooooh Poet D prose...I'll be back ....  |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Hmmm. very spooky and kind of very disturbing, keep going I like. Regards, Olias. |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
She stared at me. I could feel her eyes just staring at me. Like she couldn’t talk but wanted me to read her eyes. I whispered some question. What does one say to an hallucination anyway? But there was no answer. She sighed and I could feel the hot breath of it across my cheek. Suddenly, I was sad. It was as though she put her emotions into that one breath and gave it to me to explain why she came to me in the middle of the night. I absolutely love the whole thing... this part in particular. It's hauntingly beautiful and very elegant... At least I think that's what I'm trying to say. The only important part is "Write more!"  Kielo I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is truly something I am not writing. I sit down at the computer and 'Esther' writes for me.  I was having trouble writing poetry so I switched over to prose for a bit. It seems I can think better right now in whole sentences instead of iambic pentameter. |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
nice thoughts and story, i enjoyied it very much "It matters not how you answer, It matters only if i hear you" |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
This is wonderfully imaginative. It moves right along...feelings, senses, imagery... all there, enjoyed this a great deal.. Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
This is fascinating! I'll keep reading... |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Sometimes, I wish I would have an hallucination or two. At least then I would have a reason for not sleeping well. on to the next part M |
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ljossberir Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 81Ny, USA |
awesome one! had me glued to my seat! about to read part 2 now! |
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