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Trevor
Senior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 700
Canada

0 posted 2000-01-28 02:37 AM

There is a cow in a field,
that I’ve never met,
with a thin two by four swatch
missing from her backside.
I’m sure the wound has healed by now
but I still feel guilty
that she had to be punished with me
so many years ago
for the offenses committed
against a man called Father.

When her behind would meet with mine
as Father’s leather wrapped wrath’d hand
instilled his morals
with wide red marked love
in a repetitive consistency
that made every seated chair bite
and every law clear,

I could not help but cry,
no,
not for me
but for the cow whose skinned posterior
resulted from a child
in corn patch
with an ax
being chased by lions.

Kevin Taylor
Member

since 1999-12-23

Posts 185
near Vancouver, BC, Canada

1 posted 2000-01-28 04:00 AM

Terrific piece.
If I could change anything it would be simply to change the last few lines to...
I could not help but cry
for the cow whose skinned (etc)

Kevin

"Poetry is, at once, what you get... and how you got there."

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

2 posted 2000-01-28 01:24 PM

OUCH! did that bring back some memories. A nice twist and unusual viewpoint or perspective.

Thanks.

Pete

What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity --
sufficiently sublime in their simplicity --
for the mere enunciation of my theme?
Edgar Allan Poe

merely_a_jester
Member

since 2000-01-14

Posts 67
Arkansas... that's all you get

3 posted 2000-01-28 03:20 PM

this is great, if not for the nostalgia content alone. that and the great little spin. i almost feel sorry for the cow, if i hadn't had to live beside the mooing things half my life.

the lion thing though... *smiles* i guess an ax would get the job done... though my favorite utensil while destroying my grandfather's corn was a garden hoe...

just another twice invisible boy

To Be, contents his natural desire,
He asks no Angel's wing, no Seraph's fire;

Alexander Pope

jbouder
Member Elite

since 1999-09-18

Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash

4 posted 2000-01-28 04:54 PM

Trevor:

I'm afraid I'm a city boy but I too should feel guilty for the pain I cause some country cow.  Boys seem to have no trouble getting in trouble because of their imaginations (atleast my two don't).

One thing.  Why "wrath'd"?  Is it because you don't want it to appear as past tense word but, rather, want it to read like "wrath filled fingers"?  Just curious.

Good work with this one.  This is quite a bit less abstract than what I've read previously from you.  Later.

Jim

haze
Senior Member

since 1999-11-03

Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA

5 posted 2000-01-28 05:13 PM

Unique! Concise! Well-Honed!
A great story with a great twist to the conclusion!

EXTREME KUDOS!
~haze

Trevor
Senior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 700
Canada

6 posted 2000-01-28 05:44 PM

Hello,

KEVIN:

Good suggestion, I'll probably change that part or at least eliminate the "no,". Thanks for your comments.

PETE:

Sorry for the unsettling flashbacks

and thank-you for your comments.

JESTER:

A Garden hoe works nicely too

Thanks for your input.

JIM:

Oh you city folk

Used wrath'd to try and personify the hand more. I gotta get off my "'d" kick that I'm on....I've been using it far too much lately. Thanks for your comments Jim.

HAZE:

Glad ya liked it, thanks for taking the time to read it.

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