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all i need
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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all i need |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
"i don't need you anymore all i need is a cigarette and a head full of sores to make bleed. ashes and scabs, and dirty hair and torn clothes that children insult. i don't need anything anymore just red-grey underneath my fingernails to remind me i'm digging through this mess i'll never get out of it. i just need some menacing stares and some too-skinny girls eating salads while i starve to death. i need some time to confuse myself and to forget the things important all those things i said i'd do if not for you. i don't need any thing to hold me down. just a man i hardly know who wants me to say things to him about anything, as long as i say it 'in that sweet voice of yours'. i just need to walk alone as i always have unhindered by your hand." and no one heard that monologue but the obscenities that followed it. a sad man chewing on his bleeding hand as she makes her way to her car in tears, ringless, guiltless, and friendless. i know it's been a while, but hopefully, you all haven't forgotten me. nice to be reading all of your poetry again. "What is conversatism except adherence to the old and tired against the new and untried?" Abraham Lincoln roxane |
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| © Copyright 2000 roxane - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Excellent work rox... It doesn't make me want to get up in the morning -- but -- we have to capture the full range of things don't we?  |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
Wow The poem makes me feel....sad. But very inspirational. I really enjoy poetry that is very stream of consciousness. Very dark images but the !@#$ you angst really hits home with me. Thanks for posting |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
roxanne...WOW! guiltless is real good! and so is this entire work! your voice is clear and strong, the images are powerful and bleed reality into broken dreams...EXCELLENT WORK! |
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
Roxane, this is really good, very angry and purposeful. Sad too though, i had to read it a couple of times to fully appreciate it was a monlogue of, i'm guessing, a woman who broke off an engagement. Your words are so violent, that when reading, its like being beaten into the page. Great work... |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Rox This poem ought to have made me sad but in fact I laughed at the sheer excellence, and consistent excellence at that, of your imagery. I know well what you are writing about, and I know the pain behind this poem .. as wordshaman pointed out recently though, the best poetry is from the heart. You may be ringless Rox, you may even have lost one friend, but you'll never be friendless .. and hey, I missed you, you were away for all of four days .....lol Philip PS "guiltless" was a nice touch btw [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 01-28-2000).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Roxane, It is good to hear your voice again, I did miss you. But you came back with such a sad tale. Now I'm depressed (just kidding) but the poem certainly does strike an emotional chord, makes one really feel empathy. Oops, I almost said that your poetry could never depress me but that would obviously be wrong. I know you could write words to push my buttons and make me feel whatever emotion you desired. Thanks, < !signature--> Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 01-28-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
roxane, Powerful stuff! And so very sad ... and filled with anger, the defense mechanism for pain. You've painted a lonely tale here, which I sincerely hope is not real. If, perhaps, it is, then keep writing and writing ... let it all out, and lean on the people here. Great piece of work, rox, Kristine |
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