Critical Analysis #1 |
Accolade |
jamaicabradley Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 39 |
It is not gross reality that sickens me with our thoughts It is the fantasy you've dreamed real for us In the middle of the vortex is such an innocent beauty you dare to cheapen You dare to embark apon my sapposed signifigance when I'm playing no card no joker and this is all you can see some wild card blown over your house Where is your voice of reason gone away gone away and you think it is there with you and your so empty this is no reason only pure influence to negate your substance But they would never hurt you Well, I would never hurt you and I've stood in defiance for a long time I've stood tall in harsh winds and finally they have blown me over. A tree can stand only for so long and the leaves are stripped and the bark is chipped by bitter rain and if it is young (not enough time) to gain strength through width When the tree stands alone in the way of constant storms it will fall You never understood took time to realize or accept because this is painful for you and I see this and I understand this and I accept this I accepted this, a long time ago You hated me all this time for it and I realize this I alone hold not enough power to battle against the many. |
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© Copyright 2000 jamaicabradley - All Rights Reserved | |||
Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Jamaica, This a powerful piece... I really like the stanza with the tree metaphor...it was different and vivid. In the third stanza I think there is a spelling error with the word "supposed". Great piece! Hawk |
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jamaicabradley Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 39 |
Thank you Hawk! Yes, I am sure that would be a spelling mistake, I'm glad you only found one! I must admit I have been a little lazy lately, and a little reprimand would be a good thing. Jamaica |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Think nothing of it...there is usually about three spelling errors found in everything I post. I think yours was just a typo. Hawk |
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Buffpimp Junior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 39 |
Your poem really touched me. I thought it was very strong and imaginative keep it up |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Jamaica I've no time right now for a long reply but just to say this was another thought provoking read .. thanks Philip |
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