Critical Analysis #1 |
Connor in Chaos |
Wordshaman Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 110Illinois, USA |
Connor sleeps in chaos. On a night where everyone's f*cking, Everyone's on the Internet loud and rowdy, And Pantera's adrenalining out the stereo, Connor passed out an hour ago. The Jagermeister challenge proved too much, And now he's gone for the night. Like a little death That he'll return from In the morning. Kelly's off flashing her tits, And Amanda's picking from her litter, Her night-long harem. Meanwhile, curled on a couch And innocent without the bags Under the eyes that have been his For sixteen years, Connor sleeps in chaos. |
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© Copyright 2000 Greg Butler - All Rights Reserved | |||
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
WS I THINK i understand this. If i do, it is an insightful (is that a word?) and penetrating glimpse into contemporary life .... and something close to my heart .. I'm too much of coward to stick my neck out, and anyway I haven't got time right now Philip |
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DesertJana Junior Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 19USA |
Just Wow! What a statement! I feel for 16 year old Connor in this chaos you have described so well |
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J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
wordshaman, I know exactly what this poem's about. It's about one of the lives I've lived in my short 22 years. If you think taking the jagger challenge is bad you should try the 7 day challenge. On second thought no you shouldn't, no one should. Jason has very often slept in chaos himself. I've written volumes on the subject, only to awaken to find them gone. Good poem ws. You really capture what goes on at these kinds of times well. J.L.H. Jason I...I have seen the best minds of my generation... --Allen Ginsberg |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Words, Excellent! Lord, I feel for Conner. This also reminded me of a debate I was part of concerning the use of the word f*ck in poetry posted on the net. You can imagine how heated that became! Good work, warmhrt |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
WS, Ironicaly enough...I have loved the "litter picking" Amanda...name and all. I too feel for this guy...but I would have to suggest 151 for true chaos. Tough lessons are learned young in these times, and that makes them all the harder to realize...but no doubt we do what we can. Hawk |
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Buffpimp Junior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 39 |
Hello Conner. Well what can i say about this piece. I LOVED IT! I cant think of anyone who has the balls or guts to write something like that and actually give it to someone to read. I admire you for your courage and think that it is wonderful. Peace out PAtrick |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
wordshaman-- wow is right... deceptively simple, and at once sad and disturbing. very, very well done. jenni |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
WS: Of all I have seen from you so far I like this one the best (but I think I would have preferred Offspring to Pantera or maybe even STP ... just my taste, though ). The multiple meanings the first and last lines was a well executed effect. Jenni's right ... deceptively simple. Good job. Jim |
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Wordshaman Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 110Illinois, USA |
Yeah, Jim. I think I would've preferred STP myself (as would have Connor), but... |
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
Yeh, i can understand this very well. An intense, emotion fuelled picture of a young guy. I would agree with STP, but Pantera gives it that extra quality of chaos. |
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