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patchoulipumpkin
Member

since 2000-01-01

Posts 196
Bermuda

0 posted 2000-01-15 04:00 PM

Eyes wide, plain with the universe
Fresh earth below feet
His steps take time
Like gold
They are easily weighed

He drinks
He took up smoking too
For something to do
Girls love him
He thinks he loves them
At least he tries to
When he masturbates

He went to a concert last week
And wondered if it was as good
As everyone said it was

How am I supposed to feel?
He asks with anger and authenticity
He wishes he knew
How to be himself
Easily
Like everyone else seemed to be

At least he could smile
He thought
People like when I smile
It makes me feel good
To smile

So he did that
A lot
He smiled
From place to place
He brought himself
And his gift
His smile
Gave him everything

It got him into parties
One night stands
Bars
Houses
Camping trips
And girlfriends

He took it for granted
He never thought it would disappear
Until he used it
To get into himself
And was told he wasn't there

poetry_kills
Senior Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 549
new orleans

1 posted 2000-01-15 05:37 PM

i love it... i think you've just described the life of an average teenage american to a T... bravo *applauds* now if only these "non-people" could understand this poem perhaps we would have less non-people and more good people

sincerely,

**jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

2 posted 2000-01-19 10:22 PM

A very strong poem, Patch. I wonder if the theme might be more strongly presented in a slight more complicated, more ambiguous style but still think it works very well. Have you read Jenni's poem about post modern relationships? I think there's a connection here. The nature of authenticity is a question for us all.

Brad

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

3 posted 2000-01-19 10:52 PM

patch,
This was so very good. Drew me right in.
You seem to have a keen insight into self. I think everyone probably experiences this awkwardness between their inner and outer selves at one time or another. Strength and confidence come with wisdom, no matter what the age. You appear to be very wise.

Good work,
warmhrt

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