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Critical Analysis #1
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From Dream to Reality (A Sonnet)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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From Dream to Reality (A Sonnet) |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563
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In dreams, I see the two of us do cross, Magnificence of mountain, land and sea, In to the place where promises flow free, Seas overflowing with a bounty tossed, So gently by the tides that do emboss Your fondest wish upon the sand's marquee. Oh, will this dream become reality? Until it does, we'll pray it won't be lost. Sips slowly taken from exotic things, Our eyes meet, and we know it has come true, My love, we'll save enough embers to get Us through the northern winter until spring. Cajole me now, I'll promise to come through, Here in this island nest, our passions whet. warmhrt [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 05-24-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
WH: I miss you so much.  Again, you prove to me that sonnets are addictive. Did you like writing a Petrarchan better? They're a little easier to sum up at the end. Through Line 9 your iambic pentameter appears to be perfect (and I can read Line 10 as iambic also). A few stubbed toes on the metrical feet [did ya like that one?] after that but, all in all, very nice, classic rhythm. I liked your slight variation of the rhyme scheme on cross/tossed, emboss/lost. The last sentence, because of comma placement/punctuation I think, didn't read as smoothly as I thought it could. Broke it up a little too much and made the meaning difficult to see at first. I love the imagery, as I do in your free-verse, and I like the little surprise too. Thanks for the read.< !signature--> Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 01-14-2000).] |
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karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
i've moved away from structured poetry, but i'm a big fan of imagery, and the imagery in this sonnet is gorgeous. one interesting thing for me is that for some reason the poem seemed very colorful to me, even tho you don't actually mention any colors. great job! "My empire is of the imagination." -- She |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Jimteach, Yes, I tackled one of them again. No touchdown, but I gained quite a few yards. Actually, I was keeping my word. And this one is so special to me, I would not change a word, an iamb, or one punctuation mark. Glad you enjoyed the read, though. karneliann, Again, I'm honored by your positive view of a piece of my work. Thank you so much. I reread, and see what you mean about the colors! warmhrt |
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J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
Okay you've finally done it, you've broken my will. Someone please E-mail me the format for sonnets. I suppose I'll try one or two. I could look it up in my comp. book but I look at that enough as it is.  J.L.H. Jason I...I have seen the best minds of my generation... --Allen Ginsberg |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
i'm a huge "sonnet" fan, though i've never actually written a decent one myself and i think this is as good (if not better than) most that i've read... i love the way it flows.. especially the alternations of soft and sharp vowels in the rhymes... it gives you that gently-washing-ocean-waves feel... i love it... thank you for giving me the opportunity to read it... sincerely, **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in |
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Kevin Taylor Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185near Vancouver, BC, Canada |
An acrostic. The anacrostic ones are normal sonnets. Yours is extraordinary. And an acrostic. Kevin |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
Lovely, Warm, you old romantic you! Enjoy Maui. It's never too late to have a happy childhood ... |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
 Jerome, Jason,I'm glad you enjoyed this sonnet taking place back in the 18th century! *smile* Don't know what in the heck I was thinking! Kevin, I feel like an idiot! Thank you for pointing out my oversight! John, So nice to see you back! Yes, I'll admit to being a romantic, but NEVER to being sorry, I can't even write it, much less say it! I know it was a reference to my stupid mistake ... bet I'll never do that again! |
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