Critical Analysis #1 |
For The Love Of Isaac (RedBook3 & A Note To cougaryouth) |
haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
New Year's Eve 1999 Dim echoes through doors More litany of saints/sinners blather Bill Gates resonant rhetoricals All the more I need Reassurance Elementary Physics: "...An object at rest Remains at rest Until acted upon by an outside force." On the upper landing Warmed by ambient yellow Light We sat White Round Almost Thin-Skinned Almost Weightless We rested I smoked Sucked see-O2/nicotine minted into a warming mouth Blue veiled notes on pink tongue against the angst A xylophone stained chorus on teeth Do you feel lucky? I feel like Bacall Lips together Blowing monsoon rasps in tornado's rush The small white ball Waivered Teetered Poised for waterfall descent P i n g Pong Ping Pong P i n g Ellipses drawn on lower landing P o n g Ping P o n g To first floor Tweed Dry Karastan-Dove fingers Friction Glowing Static Elements from bourgeois pockets Common Air Encouragement to rest small ball Rest Y2K-myths Rapture Theories Rest in Elementary Physics: "An object in motion Remains in motion Until acted upon by an outside force" A genuflection to knees Isaac Newton is God Houdini is dead. ~haze < !signature--> "I shall leave nothing before matchsticks." [This message has been edited by haze (edited 01-14-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Haze McElhenny - All Rights Reserved | |||
haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
a note to cougaryouth & all young poets: In this poem I have attempted to take a simple proving of elementary physics and apply it (poetically) to disprove the Y2K and (most other) radical-religious theories. In this poem-I drew the experiment with words and images to show the movement, the theory in action. I removed (most) of my usual transcendental esoterica. The other poets will tell me if my experiment worked, if this shows you all of what I (and everyone else) have been trying to demonstrate. I have opened myself to the sword of critique (the sharp blade of slice&dice) So give it to me unplucked. With respect & regards, ~haze "I shall leave nothing before matchsticks." |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Haze: [I'm leaving the below in (entered before Haze's explanation) because they were my initial thoughts and feelings about the piece.] This is remarkable. Is the "...An object at rest Remains at rest Until acted upon by an outside force" line intended to be a message on the importance of guidance/discipleship? I think this could be read negatively as well, considering the "fall" of the ball. Thanks you, Haze. Whatever the meaning (and there always has to be meaning with me ), I "got" something from this. Again, thank you. < !signature--> Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 01-14-2000).] |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
JB!!! My friend-Thank you for the "remarkable" compliment. I worked my little fingers to red ellipses with this one. So the message has value...Thank you again! the references to the elemental physics quotations actually are intended to set the stage for the experiment and lend a tone of my resting despite the threats of Y2K& armageddon (sp) and then the doubt spreads, a plague...i perform the experiment to prove all is as before. The earth turns...perpetual in motion. Til Again Big thanks ~haze ( ) |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
haze ... I do believe there is a bit of genius in this. As I've said before, I was at first "at a loss for words" (Jim, take note), but waited till I could find some before I replied. Truly unique, and so very "haze". Loved it! warmhrt |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Haze, Visually very interesting and I enjoyed the references to Newton and his first two laws of physics. But I must confess any other meaning just shot right over my simple, left-brained (JB) head. But keep it up, I'm still trying to learn. Pete |
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J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
haze, Once again you have shown me how far I have to go. There is not a "bit" of genious in this work, but rather mounds piled upon mounds. Whatever the intended meaning the interpreted meaning is endless. My dear you amaze me. I could feel the ping-pong ball dribbling,in short regular bounces, down the stairs of life, fright, and uncertainty. Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! J.L.H. P.S. This may be too much to ask but exactly what does your sig. mean? I know it must be deep, but I can't assign it meaning. And I, like JB, must have meaning in everything. J. Jason I...I have seen the best minds of my generation... --Allen Ginsberg |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
haze: reminds me of one of ginsberg's (or corso's) poems... though i can't remember which one... i like the poem and the form and hope to see more of yours like this someday... sincerely, **jerome the boy with no brain "He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth/ People should get beat up for stating their beliefs/ Tour the world with a Heavy Metal Band/ But they run out of gas/ The plane can never land" **They Might Be Giants |
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Kevin Taylor Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185near Vancouver, BC, Canada |
http://www.intergate.bc.ca/business/kjohn/heresy/ http://www.intergate.bc.ca/business/kjohn/heretic/ There's little left to pare here, haze. Being a heretic I cannot agree with N = G but then I suppose that's a small price to pay for the rest of it. < !signature--> Kevin [This message has been edited by kevintaylor (edited 01-14-2000).] |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
warmhrt...Thank you Thank you "a bit of genius" *blush* Thank you again my my fine-hearted friend...TA _________________________________________ Not_a poet-(and I will differ on this one-you are my friend, you are-in denial) But the explanation posted sort of explains it all...If you need more, I'll email it to you...Thank you my friend Til Again __________________________________________ JLH-*blush* Blush* BLUSH* "mounds of genius* What else can I say, but thank you, thank you thank you...You have done much to prove this little experiment worked! (DID I SAY THANK YOU) Ps... My signature="I will leave nothing behind before I leave a woody stem head of small sulphur worth a penny (if that)" In other words-I will try to leave you something that counts, or as much as I am capable of...TY TA ~haze ___________________________________________ poetry_kills comparing my work to the GREATNESS of Ginsburg or (corso) DAMN...how much can a gurrl stand? Thank you, Thank you Til Again ~haze ( ) _________________________________________ Sir kevintaylor I have bookmarked your pages. I feel a compliment in there somewhere. Be me ever so humble just let me "leave you this Pink hand Open\Palm Up\Fingers Splayed 5 Spades Aces I'll keep in my sleeve." TA...~haze _____________________________________________ And to all, THANK YOU, Big Thank You's. When something shows so much to so many, It is truly a grand compliment to my efforts. Words which hold my fragile ego and encourage that which I call art. Thank You All... ~haze( ) "I shall leave nothing before matchsticks." |
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