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Too Much Thought
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Too Much Thought |
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Jessica Pahre Junior Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 12Fort Polk, LA, USA |
This is when it hurts the most In the hollow silence that weighs heavy Deafening in its intensity But so still... Focused. When the eye is turned inward, Faults are found in dreams Held precious through the years. Carving out whispered secrets, Shredding them whole Holding them to the light of reason. The voices... the halves of one... Murmered reassurance that this will pass on, Be left in the prismed insanity of hormones, The clear view through muddied glass. To trust those smears... To give oneself, to know... This is all, and will be for years until the end. When madness hovers teasing beyond the fingers It hurts the most. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Jessica Pahre - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Jessica, I'm not very qualified to critique free verse but I thought I would read your piece to see what I could see. It confirms that, either I am not very qualified, or there is nothing wrong with it. The words are strong, the imagery excellent and, with the exception of misspelling murmured (possibly a typo), I think the poem is excellent. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I've read your other works and as far as needing help, you do not. You are gifted and your poems are lovely! |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Okay, so I agree for the most part with the comments already made. However, I am being the cliche police today..... this one has a few.... Not too many, and not enough that it takes away from the work, but I wonder what it would be like without reliance on tried and true phrases. ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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