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My Dear Friend
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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My Dear Friend |
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Devious Nikki New Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 1orange,tx,usa |
Just had to thank everyone for the encouragement, it is so wonderful to know that not everyone is so quick to say i am no good at poetry and will never be able to write anything good.I will be reposting my peom in the next day or 2 and i hope to hear from everyone who has given me the courage to go ahead and try this again. Ya'll are wonderful. Sorry for being so dramatic. I never was good at taking critisim but i guess i know that is the only way i'll ever learn anything. THANKS AGAIN. Nikki  [This message has been edited by Devious Nikki (edited 12-11-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Devious Nikki - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Giggles Junior Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 15 |
I'm new at poetry myself, but I think if you would cut out some of the "My dear friend, how do i do it, how do i say" 's it could be better. Repetition is good, in moderation. I found my mind wandering after three of them. It's just an opinion. Thanks for sharing! |
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DramaMama Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 47Louisiana |
Poetry is not just words written in lines. It has imagery, and figurative language, and a density of meaning that prose does not have. It suggests, rather than explains. You have some figurative language, "sun in my days, stars in my nights," for example. Have you heard expressions like that before? If you have, then they're probably clichés. Try thinking of fresh comparisions--two things that are vital to each other... two things that go together. Good luck! Pat |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Oh please Nikki...don't be so melodramatic. Don't be such a quitter fanatic.. The poetry will come forth if you'll give it some room Now write some more cause its not fair for you to leave us so soon. Really Nikki...just remember that fellow poets are your friends...every poet has a beginning...enjoy yours a little bit...you can write poetry if you want to. Go ahead and post in the open poetry category instead of the critical analysis area if you desire less feedback. I'll be watching for some writes. James |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
nikki, i hope that you will reconsider and continue posting. it can only help you grow as a poet. those who criticize your poems do so because you have submitted them in "critical analysis". we must assume that you want to discuss your poetry and make improvements. i have to admitt that i often don't edit my poems when someone sees something wrong, but i always take what i learned into consideration when i write the next one. i have noticed now that i am getting more good comments than bad lately, and i think that's a sign of improvement. my suggestion: don't go to open poetry. it's hard to get a real critique there. most likely, your first few poems will float to the bottom of the last page because it's not often that new poets get many responses there. i have quit posting there myself, and i find critical analysis much better, for me and my poetry. in this forum, hardly ever does a poem have zero replies by it, in open poetry, there's always a string of them. please keep posting in here and i think that you'll be pleased with what happens.  |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Ohhhhhhh no you don't Nikki ......... ~hauling you back~ Can't put it better than Roxane and James .... please stay around and post some more .. in any case you edited out your first post before I saw it .. so please start by putting it back so I can have a read .. don't go ........ Philip [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 11-23-1999).] |
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