Critical Analysis #1 |
Bleu fantastic |
jamaicabradley Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 39 |
Blue fantastic Rebel spastic Sunday walking toward the same Bleu fell through while Rebel lunged into dirty waters lapping up indignities sinking into bleu Bleu Found on monday laughing rocks skipping across waters late for school Church walks Sunday saw these two Now this monday finds these two Bleu |
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© Copyright 1999 jamaicabradley - All Rights Reserved | |||
Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
This is a tricky poem to get through. Is this about two people called Bleu and Rebel and their drowning? If so, I think it does work but I really think some punctuation would be helpful to make the flow move better. There are other possible interpretations but this is the one I'm sticking with until corrected. I like the way you ended it. Interesting poem, Brad |
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jamaicabradley Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 39 |
Hi Brad, Thank you for your comment, and yes it is about 2 people drowning, and their name's are Blue and Rebel. Pretty simple poem, and I didn't really attach any deep feeling into to. More an observation. Anyway, thanks again. -jamaica |
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