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Critical Analysis #1
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Soil
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Soil |
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lizzyluv Junior Member
since 2001-12-27
Posts 46nh, usa. we suck. |
Go on, turn your girl into ground. Watch the dirt sift. I'll fall between your fingers like rain. I tried to love you. ever trying. Still trying. Always trying. But does the dirt ever make it? Don't sneer, dear; it fouls your complection. [Edited by moderator] If i had your heart, no? it'd be gross, All the blood you'd give me squirting between my hands like sand. I'd hold it in my arms. and then store it in my coffin-death box. Don't cry. Take your shower and brush those teeth. Don't mind my reflecting in the mirror. That'll go away. Cuz I'm under your feet. You make it so hard. Always shoving. knocking pushing. always twitching poking forcing always shrieking growling breaking. Can't you ever just let it all be the way you want? "everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block *lizzy* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Liz MacKinnon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ousiders Cattermole Junior Member
since 2001-11-02
Posts 27 |
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, let me think, you know call me crazy but this reminds me of a backstreet boy song, not one of their hit songs, but I dare say a potential hit. |
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lizzyluv Junior Member
since 2001-12-27
Posts 46nh, usa. we suck. |
haha, i could kick you for that one. how would the overlap be conveyed, different "vocalists"? where's the chorus? "If i had your heart, no? it'd be gross, All the blood you'd give me squirting between my hands like sand. I'd hold it in my arms. and then store it in my coffin-death box." i'm not sure how this would go over to all the little pre-pubescent girls out there sobbing "joey" into their posters and wishing for just one kiss. hmm? kudos for making a response, however, you may have a cookie.  "everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block |
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lizzyluv Junior Member
since 2001-12-27
Posts 46nh, usa. we suck. |
oh, and you're crazy. "everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block |
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Ousiders Cattermole Junior Member
since 2001-11-02
Posts 27 |
First off any backstreet boy fan knows that Joey is from nsync, not the backstreet boys. Lady what kind of a fan are you? You know that your fan club membership is coming up for renewal in January, I don't think they would look too kindly on this. |
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lizzyluv Junior Member
since 2001-12-27
Posts 46nh, usa. we suck. |
oh damn, looks like i'm in huge trouble. maybe i'll juast go join the nsync fanclub! hah! so there! hehe, i'm such a bad fan, god, i can't even remember their names. *sobs* i'm gonna throw myself f/a bridge, now. will you plead my case for me? "everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block |
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lizzyluv Junior Member
since 2001-12-27
Posts 46nh, usa. we suck. |
oh, and whoever edited this, can you ask me first, next time? cuz that was definately not oaky w/me. "everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block |
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punksmurf Junior Member
since 2002-01-01
Posts 37new hampshire, U.S. |
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yeah, so this poem was perfectly fie til you people [edited by moderator] around withit, and, as liz does know, at least, i think there is a joey in each? as i was saying, you gave me an,........................uuuummmmm.......................interesting visual there with the blood and the sand and the screamin pre-pubes. hi Lester!!!! ~Me [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (01-01-2002 08:32 PM).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Lizzy, there are rules here. This site is not your personal property. If you refuse to follow those rules, your abuses will be edited for you. If you continue to abuse those rules then more the corrective steps may become more severe than simple editing by moderator. Think about it. And while I don't personally mind your constant whining and complaining because I can simply ignore it, some other forum members may not be so tolerant. Pete |
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Ousiders Cattermole Junior Member
since 2001-11-02
Posts 27 |
I don't mind her 'constant whining and complaining', she might not be a lady, but 'not a poet' your probably not a gentlemen. 'censorship is but a prelude to the vice of misery' |
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