pillowtalk - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

lizzyluv
Junior Member

since 2001-12-27

Posts 46
nh, usa. we suck.

0 posted 2001-12-29 01:12 PM

aright, lets see if i can be ;acceptable;.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
;Tell me a lie,
              tell me something that
was never the truth;
                    Breathed.
;Alright, here goes,
                  I love you;
         Chuckles.(Bashful?)
;I knew you did!;
                Exulted.
;No,
   That was my lie.;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

[This message has been edited by lizzyluv (12-29-2001 08:58 PM).]

C?
Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 190

1 posted 2001-12-29 01:26 PM

I had to read it a few times to get it. Kinda jumpy, however, I think it is a very cool take! For some reason, I found the mental picture very clear, nice job!

lizzyluv
Junior Member

since 2001-12-27

Posts 46
nh, usa. we suck.

2 posted 2001-12-29 05:44 PM

thank you. i'm glad you liked. i've been told it's too bitter, but i'm glad you like as is. i'm glad it created as clear a picture for you as it did.

"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

C?
Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 190

3 posted 2001-12-29 05:53 PM

I tink it seemed clear to me cause it described a situation, very imtimately..but, yeah, it ain't a very nice thing to say

lizzyluv
Junior Member

since 2001-12-27

Posts 46
nh, usa. we suck.

4 posted 2001-12-29 06:12 PM

i dunno, i was in a similar situation, and it's not very nice at the time, either.

"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

C?
Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 190

5 posted 2001-12-29 06:30 PM

oh yeah, I don't think it's too bitter either, more clever than that

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

6 posted 2001-12-29 08:24 PM

Pretty clever little poem here, like it. floria aka strbbux

Englishpoet
Member

since 2001-12-18

Posts 54
Birmingham, England

7 posted 2001-12-29 08:34 PM

Dear Liz
This is a interesting little poem. I am impressed by the arragement of words - so cleverly done.For me, you won.
Asif

The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they while their companions slept
Were toiling upward in the nigh

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2001-12-30 08:26 AM

Perhaps it is because I am not familiar with your work, but could you explain to me the use of your punctuation?

Tony Di Bart
Member

since 2000-01-26

Posts 160
Toronto, Canada

9 posted 2001-12-30 10:28 AM

Very Nice

The poem just oulled me in. Love the twist.....

rich-pa
Member

since 2000-02-07

Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana

10 posted 2001-12-30 09:37 PM

i just found this incredibly amusing...what more can i say? it was dang(censorship sux!) funny

"freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin

lizzyluv
Junior Member

since 2001-12-27

Posts 46
nh, usa. we suck.

11 posted 2002-01-01 05:20 PM

thank you all. it honestly took me a million and 3 edits to get this one where it is, so i'm loving the responses. sunshine, i'm sorry it was confusing, a little clarity: semi-colons are my equivelent of quotation marks. i prefer them, in that they break me up less. sorry it was confusing.
again, thank you all!

"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.