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Critical Analysis #1

Ousiders Cattermole
Junior Member

since 2001-11-02

Posts 27

0 posted 2001-12-21 03:30 PM

Awaiting many a quaint vision -
of the splendorous whim of choices
capturing the queerest decision -
that wrought the brain to voices.

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

1 posted 2001-12-21 04:53 PM

I liked this," whim of choices" nice one, strbbux

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

2 posted 2001-12-21 06:21 PM

splendorous

I would lose this word, it made me think of Mary Poppins

Kathleen (Kay)
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

3 posted 2001-12-24 12:46 PM

I suppose Kathleen has a point but for some reason this just caught my fancy. I hope I didn't miss some tremendously important point but I just saw it as a fun piece.

Thanks,

Pete

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr

lizzyluv
Junior Member

since 2001-12-27

Posts 46
nh, usa. we suck.

4 posted 2001-12-27 10:31 PM

that was amusing, i think you should leave it as is.

"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

punksmurf
Junior Member

since 2002-01-01

Posts 37
new hampshire, U.S.

5 posted 2002-01-15 06:29 PM

you rule, i find all of your pieces amusing, and mostly fun and interesting, you have the best vocabulary of anyone i know, but that's not saying much. but anyway, to this poem, you have captured everything a poem should capture in a few short lines, 'splendorous' i love it, it's great, i want more
~Me

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