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Calm After The Storm
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Calm After The Storm |
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Keith Morgan Member
since 2001-10-29
Posts 114Md |
Calm After The Storm A beautiful sun drenched morning Where every living thing begs for relief in one form or another The silent voices of many, speak a vision of reality As off in the distant horizon, layered cirrus clouds search for a peaceful home A journey that is within the reaches of reason or an alluring season Settling overhead to exist quietly and in solitude Now an easterly wind blows ever so gently As if afraid to break up the gathering clouds But these are bold, mischievous winds Playing to the whims of fate As the north and south winds join their brethren These winds now begin to play harder and less cautiously Not only arousing the nature of man But also blowing contempt into the eyes of the sleeping clouds This quickly darkens the mood of a once peaceful entity The clouds now throw caution to the wind An attempt to prevent impending rage and retaliation As our once bright skies Are now swallowed by a darkened mass That promises violence and an uncompromising end The response of the winds is disobedience As they stir debris and hurl unconcerned indifference Destroying everything in their path This war of difference causes friction Which lights up the sky in an eerie light Giving a face to the thunderous cries that protest this insolence The winds increase their furious play Further threatening a once peaceful coexistence But before the ending of all things can be realized A mighty being curiously but sadly observes this game of attrition Knowing He has the power to end it all at any time And so the mighty Sea does just that By calling back parts of itself from the sky Drenching those playful winds into calmness Appeasing the clouds as they scatter into peacefulness Bringing about peace Returning the calm before the storm Marcel |
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| © Copyright 2001 Keith M. Morgan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hey Keith, I'm a little surprised no one has yet commented on this one. I'm not much at free verse but I thought the beginning was very good. Through the first 6 lines you had me fascinated but then I think there was just too much talk about various winds. I understand this was the meat of the poem but maybe it could be reworded to reduce the number of direct references. JMHO, Pete |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
This reads like a great big run-on sentence in fact I couldn't get all the way through it because I felt like it kept going and going and sometimes that workd with faster paced rant poems but it doesn't seem to work here. LOL... or maybe I'm just tired. Like I said, I couldn't get through it, so I don't have much to offer for critique, but I have a suggestion. This poem seems to take its time. That's fine... but either using periods or line breaks to seperate thoughts would make it much easier to read- my eyes got lost in the text without any landmarks to go by. One of the first things we learned about laying a newspaper page out in Journalism was that presentation matters. People get intimidated by huge blocks of text, and are less likely to read them. Does it make your poem bad, or not worth the time? Of course not. It's just that people are more likely to look through it if they see shorter lines, or line breaks, or an area of boldface/italicized/larger text.... these are just a few random suggestions... do whatever works for you... I'm not saying your poem is bad how it is... just that I had trouble reading it. Hope I've helped. "we are all citizens of the womb before we subdivide |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
You know Keith I wasn't going to read this poem, it looked so long, then I sat here and I thought. He put a lot of work into that, and I have written some long ones too.. so I read it and guess what? I love it, lines like these " blowing contempt into the eyes of the sleeping clouds" and it kept getting better, hmmmm yes, there is not too much form to it. but i like it nevertheless and I have a strong feeling this is not just about storms in general..I get a strong human feeling to this piece too. good write. strbbux |
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