Everything Touched Is Gold

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Ousiders Cattermole
Junior Member

since 2001-11-02

Posts 27

0 posted 2001-11-13 07:31 PM

In the snowiest little village -
In the foliage by the woods,
To the quaintest little passage -
Is were the entrance stood.

So pass the tulips in yellow -
That bend amid a breeze,
And cross the snowy ever -
That catch the fallen leaves.

For here you'll find a stream -
To cross the autumn fold,
For here you'll come to dream -
"Everything touched is gold."

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

1 posted 2001-11-18 07:43 PM

Enjoyed this very much..you made one small mistake, here in this line
"To the quaintest little passage -
Is were the entrance stood." were should be where, I am sure it was just a typo.

hush
Senior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 1653
Ohio, USA

2 posted 2001-11-19 11:00 PM

I'm confused. You have winter, spring, and autumn imagery here... it doesn't make much sense to me. Neither does the conclusion. I guess what I'm left asking is, what's the point? There's nothing pulling me into this, you're just describing a hodgepodge scene and ending with an allusion to a happily-ever-after.

I guess I would suggest adding some kind of element to this poem- a narrator, a change, some kind of evident change so it's not so static- as is, it's kind of like a sentence fragment... yeah, we've got all this imagery, but it's doing nothing, going nowhere.

Hope this helped a bit.

"this is not who I meant to be
this is not how I meant to feel" -Ani DiFranco

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

3 posted 2001-11-24 12:04 PM

I don't agree, I see it as the passage of time and the journey through life, the changing seasons and everything turning out alright in the end. I see the whole poem as an analogy and I feel that is what you meant it to be. That's how I read it anyway.

hush
Senior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 1653
Ohio, USA

4 posted 2001-11-25 11:22 AM

I could see that... if the seasons changed in any sort of order, but this poem just presents one conflicting image after another, leaving me with no sense other than bewilderment.

"this is not who I meant to be
this is not how I meant to feel" -Ani DiFranco

Soleil Noir
Senior Member

since 2001-12-19

Posts 688
USA

5 posted 2001-12-19 12:29 PM

This is a dream's dream, where
nothing is real, and everything
imagined is beautiful. Thank you
for this.

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

6 posted 2001-12-19 01:03 PM

Oh I loved the sentiment here, this was so sweet, strbbux

Englishpoet
Member

since 2001-12-18

Posts 54
Birmingham, England

7 posted 2001-12-21 06:22 PM

Hi
This is a wondeful poem. I love it as it is. I too agree "Is were" should be where.
Well done
Asif

punksmurf
Junior Member

since 2002-01-01

Posts 37
new hampshire, U.S.

8 posted 2002-01-08 06:41 PM

i agree that it felt like a passage through time in the eyes of someone seeking beauty, i dunno, just my craziness maybe, but i enjoyed the feeling of movement, and the sing-songiness to it can't wait for more
~Me

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