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Water's Memories
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Water's Memories |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
i could probably use a better title for this one suggestions welcome Water, waves, day old whitecaps moving, magic, in boundless patterns all making their way to unenviable and inevitable unions with a grasping shore Seagulls, hovering on Asian winds like dragon kites held in place by strings swarm young children eating fries, shivering with cold, anticipation dreading that long half hour. Gentle slopping hills where hot souls take refuge from the naked sand meander around this ceaseless reticulate of spheres Waves and Waders wander mingling and molding maelstrom’s raising sand and silt laden with relics and recognition minds magic alchemy steals memory from this cacophony of silent underwater stories submerged, the slow droning drowns sorrows emerging from the subterfuge a child once again filled with boundless rapture eyes like light spilling sublime insight into minds darkened by time |
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| © Copyright 2001 Anthony Di Bartolomeo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Tony, I liked some of your imagery but I guess I'm not a big fan of alliteration and would only rarely use it, usually to emphasize. When used a heavily as you have done here, it tends to overshaddow everything else in the poem, detracting from any rhyme, meter and even content. JMHO, Pete |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
Thanks for the comments Pete |
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