Critical Analysis #1 |
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Confession of Love (Sierra) |
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Davey Hays New Member
since 2001-05-10
Posts 4California, United States |
Do I believe in love? Please excuse the laugh! Youthful fancies hardly encompass, The many profound complexities… Of love…Love? How does one know When it is love? However, Fate, Fate is a reality… But could Fate bring love? Fate brings such love, A feeling so clear, so simple… it construes the mind, however enlightening the soul One might seemingly wait an entire lifetime For love That seems unobtainable, surreal Only to find that love obtainable, very real Still, though, love lies coy, dormant Perhaps because of fear one might delay… Love is distinguished, very certain How would one know for sure? Love seems to be… The piece that completes the unfinished soul To introduce an unsuitable piece to the puzzle that is the soul…Unthinkable! Scrupulous caution ought be exercised for that puzzle might be assembled unjustly- remaining so, resulting in torment, agony. Love could be - that voice, That need not say a word; Encouraging a vulnerable soul…an uncertain soul Convincing it, that acceptance and honesty Are well on their way Oh though… true, love is quite beautiful So quick, so cunning is Love! Stealing it's way to the heart Could it be, might possibly! Absent of warning, One must be precise Assumptions cannot be made! However… When Trust with Caution pleads Cooing Passion intervenes…and Grace, Why, Grace extends her open arms, and A disillusioned soul is embraced But love…Could it be? It most certainly is!!! Without a call - It offers its warmth, Its origin, its destiny… are one and the same Ending where it began- Going where it came. Might it be, that to me Love makes skin, perhaps: Softer than the flowing foam of some gently murmuring distant shore, Love makes the lips Of an untainted soul Taste of nectar from fruits Forever remaining unknown to man A nectar from the Gods Beauty is genuine, but love is pure- Strong…Yes, very Misconstrued by most, neglected by many Than it must be! The simplicity of love, the swift Uprooting of inner righteousness! Love replaces poor greed, pettiness - and doubt… In their place: Unconditional honesty Faith in uncertainty Emotion no longer staggering blindly... blindly through the alleys of a once confused soul. It is! Caution subsides, Love succeeds it Fear vacates, Trust infringes The world then shifts, purity is restored To an enlightened young man Love is Passion, passion in its most brilliant medium Love can be a weapon In the war of hearts Meticulous caution must be exercised Or the message will be misconstrued Like a poem, driven by passion Fueled by an internal fire I now know- Love…! But once in love! What a revelation unfolding Well - Than it would seem, That I must free that love Though not easy, believe me One must communicate that love, I’m not worried how I no longer need to fear It is stronger, by far than you and I… Love knows when to surface It posted signs all over the road Of my life, delivering me to you Instructing me; directing me Fear of Judgment is lost Strength came from within I give my love freely, for it is mine to give. My love has no possessor. My life is mine to live. I give to you My heart, my passion, my burning fire You have it now what you do with it… Well- is yours to be done The only thing I ask Is that you be kind However - My love for you has taught me: With all that is uncertain what is simple…is true I love you |
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© Copyright 2001 David Hays - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Too much telling, not enough showing. More imagery! I like the twist you are going for with the ending. Welcome to CA. Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
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Kurt Rhys Junior Member
since 2001-05-08
Posts 23 |
You have a feel for just the right word combined with unobtrusive rime, alliteration, and an almost seamless rhythm......a philo- sophical poem of timeless truths. |
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