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Critical Analysis #1
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Cryptic
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Cryptic |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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cryptic lips speaks myriad declining resembles feelings, balance to flocks, gathering the hunted match, refute the set claim, sanitization, the spoken line, striking a riddles rhyme, presents the case, excepting a response, tenderly closes cryptic locks. Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.) |
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| © Copyright 2001 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I agree, cryptic it is.  If the goal was to write something completely beyond my comprehension then you have succeeded, completely. Pete |
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Marq Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222 |
Don't like it! Sorry! |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Thank you for your comments. Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.) |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
well... i can't say that i understand this one either, but i think you have a real feel for words and how to manipulate them. if marq didn't like it, i don't know what to tell you because he didn't bother to say why. i can say i think this poem would go over a lot better with a little more clarity. i can extract a message from this poem, but it's like the old blood from a stone cliche. i'm getting blood, but i think i've just cut myself on the jagged corners here. it has potential. please keep trying.  |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
The poetry does not involve blood or any graphical image which might be considered evil, bad or depress. Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.) |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
I think the title says it all. I don't really have much to add. It is very abstract which isn't necessarily bad, but it hurt my brain to try to decipher its code. Maybe that was the point?! Maybe you should consider including a secret decoder ring with this poem. ha ha At least you made it over four lines! I also wanted to point out the shape of the poem on the page is interesting, if not signifigant. There seems to be a little reflection/symetry going on here. First and Last line: "cryptic", third and third to last:declining vs. excepting (was this supposed to be accepting? if not then this doesn't really work) I don't really know, but at least I gave it a shot. Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
xenox- what i meant by "blood from a stone" is there is the figurative meaning of the cliche "it's like trying to get blood from a stone." what i meant by saying it was my own blood was that as i was squeezing the stone (your poem) instead of getting blood (your meaning) i was cutting myself and drawing my own blood (my own very ambiguous interpretation). i didn't think there was anything violent in this poem. |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
your point is well taken kirk. I will make the necessary changes. Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.) |
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