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Critical Analysis #1

Ties that bind.

YeshuJah Malikk
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 263

0 posted 2001-03-14 12:53 PM

You will return to me.

For at your core
exists the flagellant.

Go on,
test the boundaries
of tolerance;
savor tenderness as if
it were a Summer's berry.

Winter soon will come.

Where then will he be
when you curl foetus like
and weep uncontrolablly?

Return to me.

Return that we may worship
at the altar of bondage,
come let us suffocate each other
in near death orgies unknown
to his shrink's mindset.

Break free my tortured Apis,
from the trappings of fidelity
and return, return, return to me.

Ryan
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 297
Kansas

1 posted 2001-03-16 12:30 PM

I like the imperative sentence structure used here. The second stanza is a fragment, and probably would work better combined with the first stanza/line. The last 2 lines in the second to last stanza don't work very well I think. Other than that, I like this a lot. I might be back later with more ideas and/or interpretations. Just got other things to do now, like play. *grins*

Ryan

"ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac

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