»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
Terror to the Roaming Deer
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Terror to the Roaming Deer |
|
Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA 
|
wrote this one about a close friend of mine who is an avid deer hunter (and griller). Me, I never hunt. But I enjoyed writing this one in parody... I just thought I'd see if y'all liked it or not or had any comments Terror to the Roaming Deer A terror to the roaming deer, it’s Stephen Dekle clad with gear that makes their hearts drum fast with fear. Stalking ‘neath the shadowed trees most calloused to their silent pleas, defiant of the warden’s fees, he’ll shoot their young as quick as grits. Up high on yonder stand he sits. Tell Carol, “get the oven mits”. He’ll skin’em in the evening shade, not asking for a bit of aid. He’ll even use a butter blade. Those meaty clumps that span his grill relate the glories of his skill to any soul who tongues his kill. Fan off the noxious smoke that streams from a popping greasy fire that gleams. Pretend his meat is fit for dreams. And try to smile as taut jaws chew. Don’t grimace whatever else you do, though suddenly you pine for “moo”. For the camo-laden Stephanos would weep if you said “These are gross!” Just bring an extra case of sauce. That “gamey taste” he says with pride, "is genuine and dignified". But you wonder just what year it died. For the sake of everybody’s gut I think he’d better choose to cut that sinewed meat with cow or mutt or leave to chefs the “cooking” part embalming every buck and hart, for we think taxidermy’s smart! A terror to the roaming deer, it’s Stephen Dekle clad with gear, whose apron strings cause humans fear. 2/2001 [This message has been edited by Stephanos (edited 03-07-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Stephen Douglas Jones - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
ROFL!! Oh yes, I have BEEN here ... and just because you can kill 'em DOESN'T mean you can cook 'em! Ask your friend if he's ever heard of MARINADE ... Anyway, I thought this was a delightful parody ... I'm laughing too hard for critcism!  Linda |
||
|
Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Stephen, Very well done and a nice rhythm as well. Quick question: Stephanos, gross, and sauce? I'm just being picky. Brad |
||
|
Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I'm happy that Brad realizes he is being picky.  Pete Imagination is more important than knowledge Albert Einstein [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 03-08-2001).] |
||
|
Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
Brad, I know, I know. I was stretching it there with gross and sauce. However it is usually considered cool to use off-rhymes as long as they are not just near misses such as "fight" trying to rhyme with "mights"...which looks too accidental, while "gross" and "sauce" at least make a more calculated atrocity in my opinion. You're more likely to get away with breaking a rule only if you convince 'em that you KNOW the rule at the same time you trample it. And if you don't buy that, I'll just take that extra liberty which comic poetry gives. Only one rule --"If it's funny do it". Thanks for the comments... (All). Stephen.  [This message has been edited by Stephanos (edited 03-09-2001).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
