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Critical Analysis #1
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written ages ago
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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written ages ago |
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mere thought New Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 6 |
Who comforted my body? Before death and before awakening There was always the sweeping negligence That has been always The utmost perception Pardon Pardon For I do not recognize me Should I ? accept the condolences So rapturously For once I breathed like the others And it is my turn to be comforted as the others… Pardon Pardon For I don’t recognize thee And I wont question Who walked with me And who cried for me I beg your pardon But why ? Have you lost that pulse sensation The life, the truth That passed through this earth Unlike me… ""Yet each man kills the thing he loves, By each let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The koward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!" -Oscar" |
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| © Copyright 2001 mere thought - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I like the 'pardon' parts but think you should develop that conversational tone a bit more. Drop the thee and explore the tensions you state but don't describe a bit more clearly. Brad |
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mark woolard Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143 |
i agree. the conversational possibilities of this are definately not to be ignored. the rest of the poem is good despite this idea, yet i find myself looking for a clear direction in which to look for meaning. (are you sylphid?) |
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sylphid Junior Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 30 |
yes, Mark, I am and the poem is translated from Arabic to English, it was written 10 years back to be precise. I meant, and this is for both Mark and Brad No one comforted my body Before realization that I want to die and awakening to action in dispatching myself from all There was always the far out reached souls (which is the sweeping negligence) That has been always my reflection of pain (utmost perception was pain) Its death chosen by living feeling like no one and yet belonging to no one.. So I excuse my death or choosing to die among them by Pardon, Pardon For breathing and asking for comfort And at the end stating that I did not care or question the ones around me, the ones hailing life thinking they are alive, that In my death I saw more life than their constant rushing , tears and false air. Hey I was only in my twenties..then There goes my age.. |
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