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A home without a wall, |
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| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Lyricist - Rewrite |
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Kevin Rose Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 64Liverpool UK |
The lyricist. The tempo was set. the drumbeat was started, Believing the baseline was what you created. Our dance was our future in beautiful rhyme The score of our lives beating out double time Orchestrated perfection, the music sublime. But cacophony came, and you left me alone I found I was singing our tune on my own. I thought that the rhythm was yours all along, But I danced all alone and found I was wrong. I now know that I wrote the words to our song I think this is pretty close to where I want it now. I am still a little uncomfortable with the second line, but I think the beat is now where I want it, with the syllable stresses on all the important words. i.e: dDddDddDddDd The critiques on the other thread have been very helpful and I considered the points of all of them, so you are all co-writers on this one! cheers people!  Kevin |
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