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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » forsaken
Critical Analysis #1
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Lily B
Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US
0 posted 2000-11-19 05:29 PM

forsaken

thoughts are swirling
eddies whirling
muddy waters
flood her head

tossing, turning
body yearning
clutching pillows
in her bed

morning after
childrens' laughter
blood cries echo
pierce the dark

heart is breaking
bosom aching
tears of shame
sweep lash's arc

breath is shallow
skin of tallow
gaze expressionless
hope lost

Jesus weeps as
baby sleeps
returned to heaven
at what cost?
© Copyright 2000 Julie A. Remke - All Rights Reserved
Lily B
Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US
1 posted 2000-11-20 11:21 PM

Not only am I interested in having this piece critiqued, but I'm also curious to know if the woman's source of torture is clear. Is the story behind the poem understood?


Thank you,

"Lily"
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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » forsaken

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