Truth Lies Within (repost)

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Critical Analysis #1

Truth Lies Within (repost)

AngelEyes
Junior Member

since 2000-09-27

Posts 14
Wisconsin, US

0 posted 2000-10-19 03:45 PM

this poem is waiting editing and I wanted to get your opinion on it before finalizing it...

Truth Lies Within

Taunting me with the lies you told,
Reflections of vengeance my eyes behold.
As I read the words you spoke in the past,
Words from a mold you previously cast.
"I love you" was all you needed to say,
Stalking my heart like I was your prey.
Deception foreshadows plans justified,
Reality is you just plain lied.
Friends to the end we did proclaim.
Thoughts of you will not be the same.
Feelings of hatred weigh on my mind,
Memories of betrayal are all I find.
Together was never further apart,
Looking inside, searching my heart.
Finding a way to see thru the lies,
No care anymore for "how's?" and "why's?"
Truth will prevail as I discover,
Your self-proclaimed love for another,
Is merely a way to heal the pain.
I realize now I loved you the same.

To find the depth and meaning of true love you must search deep inside

jonmcm
Member

since 2000-10-11

Posts 222
England

1 posted 2000-10-19 05:38 PM

Hi AngelEyes,

I have read the poem and I only have the following to say: -

'As I read the words you spoke in the past,'

I think the rythem of this line is better without the 'As'

Finally: -

'Deception foreshadows plans justified,
Reality is you just plain lied.'

There is nice rythem throughout the poem, but for me it is broken when you get to these two lines. So I would look at the wording here.

It's a tragic tale.
My best wishes

Jon

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