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This for That (was Quid Pro Quo) but I changed much of it
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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This for That (was Quid Pro Quo) but I changed much of it |
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Jeen Member
since 2000-06-07
Posts 91 |
This adversary Has restricted me By surrendering my capacity To devote passion to a career Instead of my family This rival Has denied me The affleunt's luxury Of congesting my home with Assets I want but don't need This thief has robbed from me The inherent ability To embody indifference toward suffering Because of my own personal immunity This intruder has winnowed me Into an opposite personality Throwing me in a direction I would not have chosen Without it's coercion This disease Ha clearly altered me Physically to some degree Yet my soul has never been healthier Who is to say I am not better off |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Applause!!!  (small typo in the last verse Jeen! ) |
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kid D Member
since 2000-10-18
Posts 64 |
ok, you didn't say what disease, which made me reread 3 times to understand this more clearly...so i don't know if the not identifying is a plus or a minus...I do like what you are trying to say, that things, illnesses, etc, change your life, and that you have accepted this for the better, but I think a little tieing together of your ideas would make this better...hope i said this right, i like it, and i think it has potential  |
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kid D Member
since 2000-10-18
Posts 64 |
ok i started my post before LR's then got interupted and came back to finish and found his applause, which makes me feel doubly dumb for not getting this poem...will reread and see what i missed, but would like to see what a couple of others feel too |
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