Critical Analysis #1 |
![]() ![]() |
Knowing |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
Nikolette Sadness![]()
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337port richey fl. |
ok so yeah...i wrote this freshman year...and the only person to read it was my english teacher... what do you think????? ~Knowing~ Seeing light of darkness, floating dark to light. Knowing this has got to be the change from day to night. Nikolette Sadness i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness. |
||
© Copyright 2000 Nicole Crisp - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janie Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158 |
Nikolette, The meter is very good and the rhyme is good. Honestly though, as a stand alone poem, it doesn't make a big impact on me, personally. Perhaps you could use this in a different longer poem and develop it into something extraordinary? Just my thoughts, please no hard feelings. Janie By the way, what did your English teacher have to say about it? |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nik, I like this. Brevity is refreshing...and you've painted a lovely scene... |
||
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Nikolette, I enjoyed the lyricality, and I don't mind these brief poems at all...in fact I like them very much. Keep writing, Kris "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." ~ Albert Einstein |
||
Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I don't mind brevity either but I feel you're holding back on yourself here. There's not enough punch in the image -- no shock in the contrast of images. It has potential but it's not there yet, tantalizing but no cigar. Just an opinion, Brad |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |