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Critical Analysis #1
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Nikolette Sadness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337
port richey fl.

0 posted 2000-09-07 08:55 PM


ok so yeah...i wrote this freshman year...and the only person to read it was my english teacher...
what do you think?????

~Knowing~

Seeing light of darkness,
floating dark to light.
Knowing this has got to be
the change from day to night.

Nikolette Sadness


i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness.

© Copyright 2000 Nicole Crisp - All Rights Reserved
Janie
Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158

1 posted 2000-09-08 11:01 PM


Nikolette,

The meter is very good and the rhyme is good. Honestly though, as a stand alone poem, it doesn't make a big impact on me, personally. Perhaps you could use this in a different longer poem and develop it into something extraordinary?

Just my thoughts, please no hard feelings.

Janie

By the way, what did your English teacher have to say about it?


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-09-10 05:39 PM


Nik, I like this. Brevity is refreshing...and you've painted a lovely scene...
warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

3 posted 2000-09-11 02:20 AM


Nikolette,

I enjoyed the lyricality, and I don't mind these brief poems at all...in fact I like them very much.

Keep writing,
Kris

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human
stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." ~
Albert Einstein

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
4 posted 2000-09-14 11:36 PM


I don't mind brevity either but I feel you're holding back on yourself here. There's not enough punch in the image -- no shock in the contrast of images. It has potential but it's not there yet, tantalizing but no cigar.

Just an opinion,
Brad

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