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I trace her geography...
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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I trace her geography... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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I trace her geography from Canada down to the Gulf of Mexico. Feeling her topography as my eager hands revolve around the Appalachian mountains and then, the Grand Canyon... She smiles with an approving countenance. She is now my companion... My fingers run through the Thousand Islands, brushing them gently and gliding through the plains and the highlands. In the national forests, I’m hiding and I’m sweating with ardor. Up the Mississippi and back and up again.... rowing faster and harder and now I see the stars... on the flag and with pure excitement I rave! Shake the champagne and fire the corks! God bless America, the home of the brave! Fourth of July or not,-- there are fireworks! < !signature--> Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet [This message has been edited by Master (edited 08-17-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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boji stone Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 62USA |
smiling here, well this is certainly clever ~~ good job! bjstone |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
very slyly done  its interesting, only thing, as far as i can tell you repeat a couple of the ...geographic refrences. that makes it a bit confusing. also, it would be very cool if you could arange your actual landmarks in a north south direction so that they would all go in order with your actions. i want to say cute piece, but i think i better not. luv Elyse |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Of the two replies... I am afraid I lean towards Elyse on this one. You have a marvelous idea here - the makings of something quite clever and humorously romantic - but if falls apart in a few places. Especially those that Elyse metioned... I kept having to back my imagination up a bit... I thought you staked your claim on this fair land long before the fireworks went off. Like I said... a marvelous idea. I like it. -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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Jamie Dawg Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 35 |
erotic.....i like this very much. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
As others have mentioned, I got confused with the apparent random geographical manuevers but the second time I gotta kick out of it.  You know, sometimes traveling is just like that. Brad |
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niky tamayo Junior Member
since 2000-08-22
Posts 17 |
new member here! hmmh... i think the geography thing of going in one direction is over-rated... you did it right... because i can think of nothing more boring than going straight from a to b. reaaaally clever... when i got to the flag, i HAD to laugh.  ) |
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