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Graffiti Laws.
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Graffiti Laws. |
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YeshuJah Malikk Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 263 |
I occupy the fringe, but represent the masses who stand without but look within; at scribes seeking to instruct them above life's maddening din. From lofty disdain's peak they thunder words well conjured-- yet the beauty of their orgasmic revelations are hardly ever pondered-- not by the masses anyway. Their cerebral droppings are enshrined in academia's cold halls, regurgitated rote by disciples of questionable note-- to the masses anyway. Then came the Beatles and the Grateful dead; their word carvings still resonate within the masses' head. But Frost and Poe and all those lofty bards, have now succumbed to rappers in graffiti malls. |
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| © Copyright 2000 YeshuJah Malikk - All Rights Reserved | |||
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
This is a great usuage of words, but I had a hard time pointing to the main point. See what I mean? Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
YeshuJah: This sounds almost like a lament. I'll be honest ... I had a hard time putting my finger on the point you are trying to make. I think if your intent was for this to me an iconoclastic poem, the effect would be much stronger if you gave the reader more information on the source of the "cerebral droppings" (great wording, btw). Also, the word "represent" bothers me a little bit in the second line. The word implies being given a place of authority by the consent of those represented. A representative, by my understanding of the word, cannot be self-appointed. A "voice crying in the wilderness" would be more aptly called a prophetic voice rather than a representative voice. Just a thought (probably overly nit-picky). Thanks for the read. Jim |
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