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The Procession
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Procession |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
For eons past they've slumbered still aside this earthly sphere and waited 'till the die was cast denied an entrance here As each new generation bears a few down through the years the fabric tears further again as " new " things re-appear They have been called by many names by those who seek the truth eternal flames that words may salve to glow with constant youth For theirs is not the realm of mass but merged with space and time their fate alas if were forgot a dirge would sound this rhyme Imagination rules the plane on which they co-exist think not insane those who relay enrichment through the mist As they will mold and shape this world in ways we can't concieve as flags unfurled their tales are told 'till day comes we believe Note: This began as a " Ballad Stanza" but through use of internal rhyme on the accented syllable 2nd foot 1st and 3rd line , and the accented syllable 1st foot 2nd and 4th line ,it no longer seemed to fit that description . The rhyme pattern established is abcd,bacd .If you've made it this far , my questions are... 1 Is this a recognized form ? 2 If so does it have a name ? 3 Is there any form that uses this rhyme pattern ? 4 Does it work ( or am I just deluding myself )? Doc |
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| © Copyright 2000 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved | |||
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Poems posted in this forum are confusing. I know I write them too. I had a hard time finding the main idea behind this one. Maybe I should reread it at a more relaxed time. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Xeonox, Well , then again ,who among us isn't confused ? That's one of the main reasons I'm here on this site . Three years ago I wouldn't have been able to tell one form from the other , or write anything that anyone would care to read .I have not been here quite one year yet , and through reading others works , taking advice where given , and trying to emulate some of the fine talent that is here , I can honestly say I'm still an idiot , but at least I'm a better educated one . Doc |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Dr. Moose: My thinking is that this is a poem about Muses. I could be wrong but I think the idea fits your theme. First your questions, then the poem: quote: I am not aware of a classical form that uses this particular format. But I really don't think that matters. quote: See above. quote: Your poem works for me. The rhythm and the rhyme sound natural enough to my ear and (I think) I was able to get the gist of your meaning here. You have some excellent lines here, Doc, and, in my opinion, you have no reason to think that you are deluded. I find it interesting that you were able to dance around directly mentioning the object of the poem's attention for so long. I thoroughly enjoyed trying to figure this one out. Thanks for the read. I hope this is not the last poem you post here. Jim P.S. The meter in "the FA- / -bric TEARS / FURTH-er / a-GAIN" stubs a toe in the third foot.  A trochaic foot in situated in the middle of a line like this (without punctuation or a natural pause) is a little irregular. Again, thanks for posting. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Jim , I do appreciate your responses to my queries . I must agree that the line you mention did not ring true . I tried to re-write this part many ways , and this was the best result I could come up with .Your guess as to the subject matter is on a par with the original thought . I tried to lend a little " Sculder & Mulley " to it.Thanks for the input, and as they say , " The Truth Is Out There" and " I'll Be Back " Doc |
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