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Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

0 posted 2000-07-31 10:22 AM

In memory of my last few minutes shared
with a beloved stepmother.

It's OK

Just hold my hand, I think you understand
The time has come, there's nothing more to fear
From frail and weary body. Hold my hand
And say goodbye, for now the time is here.
And it's ok to go, you've earned the right
To suffer not, there's nothing more to gain
From shattered worldly being. It's alright --
Yes it's ok to sleep and end your pain.
God knows I'll always be inspired by how,
With heart and soul, you fought this dreadful foe,
But now I hold your hand and kiss your brow
One closing time before I let you go.
So rest in peace, enjoy that better place,
And leave your smile of love here on my face.

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

1 posted 2000-07-31 11:42 AM

Pete,

A very kind-hearted, loving tribute to your stepmother. It always warms me when I see that step-parents are loved so by their step-children. One hears so many awful stories of that situation.

I loved the last line...that part of her would always be with you...her smile.

Touching, Pete, and as always, well-done.
Kris

the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

kelli
Junior Member

since 2000-07-31

Posts 10
washington

2 posted 2000-07-31 01:01 PM

It is a sad yet beautiful poem. I'm glad that you loved her, and sorry that she is gone.

Elyse
Member

since 2000-04-16

Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC

3 posted 2000-07-31 07:13 PM

simply lovely pete. pouring the emotion into a form like this just raises it a level. big hugs. just lovely.
luv Elyse

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

4 posted 2000-08-01 09:44 AM

Thanks Ladies for your comments. This was our last few minutes together, almost exactly 2 years ago now. And I can say without hesitation that stepmothers can be loving and loved

This one truly was.

Thanks,
Pete

Tim Gouldthorp
Member

since 2000-01-03

Posts 170

5 posted 2000-08-02 12:16 PM

Pete,
Sad, beautiful sonnet. You are lucky to be able to express yourself in this way. Many cannot. Whatever else is false in this world, you've shown that at least your love for your stepmother is not. I'd offer you sympathy, but you don't need it.
-Tim

jbouder
Member Elite

since 1999-09-18

Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash

6 posted 2000-08-02 12:25 PM

Pete:

This one reads more naturally than some of your more recent sonnets, and this complements your monologue presentation of the subject. The enjambment worked well to "hide" the rhymes and, with the exception of some perfectly acceptable substition of what I read as spondaic feet, the poem is consistently iambic.

Thematically, you did a fine job of portraying the sincerity of your feelings for your step-mother and I found the poem very touching.

The one problem I had was with "... to suffer not ...". The inversion broke the natural read for me. Perhaps there is another way to describe the release from suffering that she has earned.

Thanks for sharing this experience with us, Pete.

Jim

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