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The colors of you
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The colors of you |
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deb Junior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 44Reading, Pa., USA |
You passed through the door of bloodshed Enmity carried over the threshold Mindless reason your reason The tired force forced to press on Armored with vengeance You set assail I saw red Ranting the song of freedom Your utterance was dissonant As you looked over your shoulder Night hemorrhaging your diamonic Stoicism your only light Blinding your site to the flag you waved I saw white I once knew you Amity your only friend Repose your only shield Kismet lied in your hands as you knelt to embrace wisdom Face aglow with facile smile Hands that reached with sated care I saw yellow This usually staid calm Shrouded ominous siroccos Imperceptible apparitions of the soul Undulate form turns to stone Truth illusive by imprudence Just like a curse the door is closed I see black [This message has been edited by deb (edited 07-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 deb - All Rights Reserved | |||
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
sometimes, i get afraid when i see poems about color, because i fear that they will be trite, or childish or cliche. let me just say that this poem taught me not to judge a poem by its title. this is an excellent poem by my standards. the single lines are haunting. the vocabulary and style is just wonderful. i can't even really think of any criticism, i just loved it! |
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deb Junior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 44Reading, Pa., USA |
Thanks for reading, Roxane. Glad you liked it. I was actually debating whether or not to keep the "color lines" in the poem. I feel a bit better about it now! deb |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Deb, This poem is fantastic! I must say it moved me...the single lines - excellent in adding to the impact. Your word choices, and the form fit this theme wonderfully. I'm really very impressed. Kris |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Kris, you got your old name back  Congratulations, I knew you could do it  Pete |
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deb Junior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 44Reading, Pa., USA |
Kris,glad you're impressed--I think I am too. Thanks for taking the time to read! deb |
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