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Critical Analysis #1
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The Nickel
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Nickel |
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kris_aka_warmhrt Junior Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 15 |
a suffocating crowd, claustrophobic fingers touched him from every angle, escape found through a back door, into the darkness and a shiny nickel of a moon in the pocket of a dark denim sky. leaning against the rough brick, wiping beads of anxious sweat from his forehead back into his already damp hair, wondering if he can handle this. the makings of success, forced small talk, throngs of endless faces, never knowing if his work was the reason they fawned or because he had been one of the lucky ones, discovered. uncovered, he called it, his work sitting in a studio atop a garage for years and years, many other unknowns he'd seen had more talent than he, marketable was the magic word, he surmised. breathing slowed, muscles relaxing, he looked up at the silvery moon, then pulled a nickel from his pocket, heads I go home, tails I go back in there. his thumbnail hit monticello, the coin spiraled upwards, till gravity caught it, sending it falling towards earth, his hand reached out to grab it. gazing at the closed fist, thoughts swirled, then releasing his grasp, he looked into his palm. he shrugged his shoulders, he had lost. Kris |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristine Karinen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
I liked this.especially the ending. a good move to leave the reader guessing. The showing was a pain, sure, but, did he really want to leave? and miss out on all that recognition..good images. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Kris: Be careful what you wish for, huh? The tragedy (and irony) of success was well played here, Kris. You did a great job of capturing the anxiety of being thrown into an uncomfortably new lifestyle without the chance to adjust. I liked it, Kris. Glad to see you back and firing with both barrels.  Jim |
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kris_aka_warmhrt Junior Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 15 |
pegasus, Glad you found the read interesting. I suppose the answer as to what he had lost would be different for a lot of people. Thanks for reading and commenting. Teach, It feels a bit strange...I don't know why. Thank you, though, for the welcome back. I do not employ, nor ever suggest, the use of any type of firearms, especially a double-barrel shotgun!! I'm a Democrat, for heaven's sake, and a damn liberal one at that...all for gun control.  Thanks for reading, JB, Kris |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Very interesting from start to finish, Kris. The first stanza really captured my attention: "a suffocating crowd, claustrophobic fingers touched him from every angle, escape found through a back door, into the darkness and a shiny nickel of a moon in the pocket of a dark denim sky." and the suspense left at the end was not only a surprise but also I thought a very effective turn. You have several good images her but I think my favorite lines are: "a shiny nickel of a moon in the pocket of a dark denim sky." I can't say why but it just seemed outstanding, maybe because of the uniqueness of it. Thanks, Pete |
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kris_aka_warmhrt Junior Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 15 |
Pete, Thank you so very much, Mr. Sweet. You always seem to make my day. However, I am not sure I deserve such an overwhelmingly positive critique.  (you made me blush)Thanks, Pete, I always appreciate your kind words, Kris |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
C'mon Kris, a democrat can't blush Pete |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Pete, I beg to differ with you, kind sir, I am living proof!!! Kris < !signature--> the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 07-28-2000).] |
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