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Conestoga
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Conestoga |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash 
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Through verdant valleys framed by rolling hills The ageless Conestoga slowly flows. The echo of Her children's music trills Through verdant valleys framed by rolling hills, Reminding men that superstition kills. Alone forevermore Her journey goes Through verdant valleys framed by rolling hills: The ageless Conestoga slowly flows. *** For Pete ... I suppose you could say you put my mind in the triolet.  [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 07-14-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jim Bouder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
Jim, I haven't seen this format of verse before. I think the line "The ageless Conestoga slowly flows" definetely withstands the repetition, in fact I felt it combined with the meter and the rhyme to mimic the river as it slowly flows. Normally I would not be overly enamoured with the word 'verdant' but as you use it I think it is appropriate. I also liked the overall vagueness (for want of a better word) of the poem. It contributes to the dreamy and timeless impression I recieved. -Tim |
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Seoulman Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 41 |
Hi jbouder, not much of an expert on 'critical analysis', I either like em' or......, so I just want to say I always enjoy poetry like this- short, succinct & with good rythem. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
As great as the prosody is, the words are that much better. Projects images of descendants of the pioneers spreading throughout the land like slowly spreading waters. I am not particularly fond of the 5th line. It kind of spoils the image for me. Of course you had something entirely different in mind.< !signature--> Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". [This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 07-16-2000).] |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I'm with jamie on his view of the fifth line .. otherwise jim it's great .. the repetition definitely gives it a kind of ageless atmosphere ...lol come to think of it ..maybe if i repeat myself enough i might stop losing hair!! thanks jim p |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Thanks,everyone. The poem is too vague and, because of this, the meaning of the fifth line seems to be mostly lost to you all. I am working on the rest of the story now and, hopefully, when it is done you will change your mind about the fifth line. Later (but not much). Jim |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Shame guys, it almost seems obvious where he is going with the 5th line. Persecution, of course, created much of that part of history. Better stop here before I go completely off course though Pete |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh noooo you don't Pete ... I just made a complete idiot of myself over Dark Angel's poem ..so c'mon .. tell all ..... now !!! P |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
hi y'all. just got back from orientation in NY. so nice to come to a poem like this.  it has a softness and kind of old, eroded-ness to it. and superstitions have killed many a person, both in the corporeal and spiritual ways i suppose. anyway, it seemed alright to me. but i would still love more story. (cant get enough of that )luv Elyse |
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