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Critical Analysis #1
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Time Travels
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Time Travels |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Time Travels Stepping to the future from my time machine, Life back in the past was much brighter and green. It seems that the problems, way back then, were “Oh, so small” And the things I remember, I can’t seem to recall? There into my transparent looking glass I see A vision of the past, an image of me… I was a dumbfounded youth without rhythm or rhyme Anticipating the passage of lingering time. Into my own eyes I see my dwindling fate, A strapping young lad who has shown up too late. The capturing of memories has somehow slipped by To a short meandering moment of “Now, here am I.” Hiding the sunshine that enlightened my day, Off in the near distance I see patches of gray. The youthful days of adventure have become futile cold In the bitter acknowledgment that I have grown old. Revealing my future in subtle rebuke, I proclaim that “This looking glass must be a fluke! This time machine has failed! This awful truth cannot be! For, truly, I was to remain much younger than I see.” Past all memories of laughter and bitter sweet tears, In time I have flown a few twenty plus years. Into the future I have somehow escaped With a slouching new look and hideously shaped. Refusing to remain at this moment in space, I went back in my ship to return to my place. But, I was stuck in the future with myself and my lies For the machine would not start to my astonished surprise. Stuck with my emotions and human desire, A prisoner of technology gone haywire. Here in my future I must forevermore remain Recalling my time travels in disillusioned refrain. -Robert E. Michaud Jr.- |
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| © Copyright 2000 Robert E. Michaud Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Ah Bob you've deluded yourself. Sure the exterior is not as refined and well tuned as it once was, but think remember when you were five years old. That person you were then, are you really that much different now. I mean your essence as measured by heart and soul. I being 48 can relate perfectly on a physical level to your poem. I look in the mirror and think whoose that old fart. In my mind I carry a different picture. Nice read. your friend forrest reading this poem has given me an idea. I will post one for you. |
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eldridgejackson Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 91 |
I was just thinking today how old Forrest looked and how young he thinks he is. Your poem really nails it down. The following (I try to remember but I can't seem to recall) may work in place of (And the things I remember, I can’t seem to recall?) Only because if you remember them you have recalled them already so how could you not recall them. Just a thought probably the first and last one I'll have today. James aka eldridgejackson |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
 Hey Brothers,Thank you for your replies! Not to be alarmed... This poem was actually an English assignment that had to begin with the phrase, "Stepping from my time machine..." I had only 30 minutes to write 40 lines and basically this is what I came up with. I spruced it up a little for CA. Actually in the poem, I am the strapping young lad looking into the future twenty something years... Forrest, A poem dedicated to me? I am stunned. (In shock) In real life I am a Sunday school teacher of 1st and 2nd graders, so every Sunday I become a six year old in mind and spirit. I am going to summer camp as a counselor for over 1000 kids this month... pray for me!! E.J.,Time travel does some strange things to your mind... I can't remember what I forgot or I forgot what I remembered... It's just too dang confusing! Hey, the main thing is... Thanks! for the thought. I am glad you used your one thought for the day on deciphering my poem. I hope you didn't have a headache... Thanks for making yourselves friendly, Bob<>< |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
This was pretty good. I'd think about tightening it up a bit as it got a bit wordy and either make it predominantly iambic or anapestic (my choice) -- but I liked the rhyme scheme with this theme. I thought they matched. And that's just a rare thing for me to say.  Brad |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
Hi Rob I really liked this poem  although I don't think were ever happy with ourselves, be it 20 years in the past or 20 years in the future......1000 kids? I would be praying for temporary insanity LOL but I will pray for you, I will wish you luck and if that doesn't work, I have the name of a really good physchiatrist  Never underestimate the Power of Purpose. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the 'Present' unkn |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
Hi Rob I really liked this poem although I don't think were ever happy with ourselves, be it 20 years in the past or 20 years in the future......1000 kids? I would be praying for temporary insanity LOL but I will pray for you, I will wish you luck and if that doesn't work and I have the name of a really good physchiatrist Never underestimate the Power of Purpose. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the 'Present' unkn |
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YeshuJah Malikk Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 263 |
So true.."I was stuck in the future with myself and my lies" ah regrets. I'd say that for the time you had to do this you did a helluva job. I wonder what it would look like if you really sat down and worked it? Maybe you could try that.. just for kicks and giggles.. YeshuJah*) |
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