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Critical Analysis #1

Ripples

Robin
Junior Member

since 1999-08-07

Posts 48
Cardiff, Wales, UK

0 posted 2000-06-28 07:19 AM

Ripples
Robin Laffan
April 2000

A smiling face hides the depths
Below which the body cannot sink
Without losing itself in a flare
Of immolation
And fear.

I feel the need to think that no-one is better.
That no-one will rule when I’m gone.
To know that fear is a blanket
That keeps the cold out of my heart
Sensing the past as the future
Knowing I’ve forgotten the truth
When the sun rises in the night time
To turn the fearsome ones away.

But instead my days are filled
With the voices that cry in my memory
A cigarette calling for me to start
A drink shouting in the cupboard
Dragging my thoughts their way
While the future quivers in the ripples of the past
And the present steams ahead towards history
Ignoring my calls for forgiveness.

naynay
Junior Member

since 2000-06-27

Posts 13
whitewright tx usa

1 posted 2000-06-28 08:24 AM

it was very touching and i cant say what u should do to it but i can say this i liked it and u should not realy change anything

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