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Beginning To End (Workshop project)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Beginning To End (Workshop project) |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Beginning To End The ravages of Time will take their toll While all are helpless, milling to-and-fro With fragile minds and dreams they may be whole; Their drab and lifeless days . . . they cannot know. They're draped in silks of colors, grand and bold But stained with blood and tears from countless years Of hopeless games and pointless goals they're told Will smooth their lives and soothe their senseless fears. And don't think from these throes you are exempt Or hope some turn may let you win this game; Despite audacious schemes you may attempt, The final, gruesome outcome is the same. So make your noise but find your peace, my friend; The score's foregone, beginning to the end. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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| © Copyright 2000 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
pete ...... great to see you ..i nearly mailed you yesterday to see how things were going  i have but a moment to say that i thought that this was a very fine job indeed .. remind me which type of sonnet this is please .. I'm out of touch? Unfortunately i can't fault the meter (I'm sure jim can though ...lol  ), in fact i can't see much wrong at all. Also loved the switch from 3rd to 2nd person at "the turn" lines 8 to 9 ..Good job pete philip |
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Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
I sense that you are discussing fate, saying we can't escape the final foregone conclusion, death. But you make life sound like pure drugery, and it isn't - unless you allow it to be. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hello Pete! It is so very nice to have you back with us. I hope all is well, and you are feeling much better than we last heard from you. I commented on this poem in the workshop, but I will reiterate my point...though, technically perfect, it seems, with good word choices and phrases, the subject matter seems foreign coming from you. To think that no matter what we do, it is of no consequence, because we will some day die, is no way to live. Live each day, each hour, each moment...savor them...all the good things in your life, and keep those foremost in your mind. This is just my opinion, Pete, and doesn't negate the quality of your poem...I just hate to even think of you feeling this way. ~smile, okay?~ Kris< !signature--> the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 06-05-2000).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Philip, Believe me, it's great to see you guys again too. Thanks for your kind compliments on my Shakespearean Sonnet. I can only hope you're wrong about Jim ripping up the meter  Jana, Thanks for reading and commenting. I didn't mean to make life sound like drudgery. Instead it was more a comment on the artificiality of so many people we see in everyday life, particularly in business or other competitive situations. Kris, Thank you, my dear, for comment a second time. I tried to make this one as technically correct as my limited abailty would allow It seems that I missed the mark somewhat on content (see note to Jana above). And please don't worry this is not my philosophy, I have no morbid or fateful feelings and I am not about to die. There are far too many things which I have yet to do in life. I think carpe diem is the short way to say it.Thanks all. I'll try to write something more uplifting next time. Pete |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Pete, Glad to have you back. I loved the use of 'turn' in this poem. I almost laughed out loud. I laughed inside though. Where it counts. Meter: And don't THINK from THESE THROES you ARE exEMPT --seems a bit off unless you're reading it differently. 'is the same' reads like an anapest to me. You know with the 'turn' here, I didn't find this poem so particularly morbid. I thought it had a tinge of black humor to it. Strong voice -- thought it matched the subject matter. Brad |
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