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Critical Analysis #1
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PoetasterD
Junior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 42
Florida

0 posted 2000-06-04 08:03 PM


I lie in bed waiting,
my heart pounds in breathless anticipation.
Looking forward to holding her again,
fearing what is to come.

She is lying by my side,
I am oblivious to the fact she is near.
As I hold her in my tight embrace,
I want her more than words can say.

I caress her soft skin gently,
how I love to give her pleasure.
She has no idea that I feel for her,
she thinks she is my only desire.

I kiss her body tenderly
She is unaware, embraced by slumber
I taste her sweetness on my lips,
if she knew she would be bitter

I feel her quiver beneath me.
She lies motionless in the still of the night.
Her heart racing as fast as mine,
gasping to catch her breath

Waves of ecstacy overwhelm her.
Making love to her like she wants it.
This lust I feel for her is insatiable
If she knew she'd be devastated.

Awaking soaked in sweat,
only to find her gone.
She awakes disturbed by my movement,
"What's the matter" she ask.

So I lie in bed again and say, "nothing"
as she is again embraced by slumber
Longing to have her for the first time, again.
Oh how I lust for her in my dreams.



[This message has been edited by PoetasterD (edited 06-04-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 M. Derek Drudge - All Rights Reserved
PoetasterD
Junior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 42
Florida
1 posted 2000-06-04 08:07 PM


OOOOPS!


[This message has been edited by PoetasterD (edited 06-04-2000).]

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
2 posted 2000-06-05 01:47 AM


It's powerful... very erotic too....what is it she doesn't know...
Overall, I like it very much...thanks for sharing.

 Peppermint
Life is a Wheel

PoetasterD
Junior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 42
Florida
3 posted 2000-06-05 06:42 AM


Peppermint,

She and Her are two different people. "She" is the person that I am with right now, physically, "Her" refers to the person that I am with in my dreams. "She" doesn't know that I dream about "Her"........

Thanks for the reply!

Best wishes,
Poetaster D

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
4 posted 2000-06-06 06:15 AM


This is a wonderfully strange poem. I thought it was about how a woman really is and how you would like her to be (but don't or can't tell her). If it's true though, I can't help but wonder why you don't tell her what you want, or even end the relationship if you don't love her. I'd be really upset if I found out that my husband was in love with an imaginary person!
Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
5 posted 2000-06-06 08:26 AM


Maybe "She" can never be what you have always dreamed "her" to be?

I like it!

PoetasterD
Junior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 42
Florida
6 posted 2000-06-06 08:09 PM


lotharingia,

Rightfully so, as I would be if my wife was in love with another. However, I also realize that I am not the best looking, most desirable male in the world. I would really be surprised if I knew she NEVER fantasized about being with someone else, whether imaginary or otherwise. After all, Variety is the spice of life! Doesn't everyone fantasize?
Anyway, thank you ALL for your comments on my poem. It means so much to get feedback from people who are such talented poets!

Best wishes,
Poetaster D


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