The fall fell into puddles...

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Critical Analysis #1

The fall fell into puddles...

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-06-04 01:29 AM

The fall fell into puddles and reflected
Right through the cloud’s swaying tides,
It resurrected to new heights
And in the lucid, shinning lights,
It dimly glimmered in the nights
While grimly gazing on the earth, --

There... unexpected,
A tempest rose so full of verve!
And lightning with extensive strides
Skipped flights of stairs
And struck with stripes of blaring glares--
So scarcely scattered.

And only battered trees objected
But ineffectively!--
Defected,
The frail trees, deprived of pride,
Had set their final leaves in flight, --
And stood exposed and unprotected.

The television diagnosed
A coming calm,
But I envisioned
The grace and power of the storm, --
I was effected by the fall
I fell in love, --
I resurrected!

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 06-06-2000).]

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

1 posted 2000-06-05 03:08 AM

I get to be the first to respond to this!!!! Amazing. I really thought it flowed well.... the language was excellent... and it had the exact right tempo. Something about storms is so appealing to me and somehow you have captured that feeling.

Elyse
Member

since 2000-04-16

Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC

2 posted 2000-06-05 12:23 PM

hi master! this is absoluetly completely lovely! i cant beleive there arent tons of postings saying so. i LOVE the title

"And grimly sighted on the earth"  i assume this is a typo, meant to be sighed?
the way you talk about the lightning is really great, fresh, amazing word choice.
anyway, i have no suggestions,  i just had to come and pile on the praise and tell you how wonderful this is

luv Elyse

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then . . . . I contradict myself;
I am large . . . . I contain multitudes.
-Papa Walt

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

3 posted 2000-06-06 03:14 PM

Thank you both, I'm glad that you enjoyed this one... I love this style, when you mix rhyme with alliteration, usually the flow of the poem becomes excellent... Thanks again!

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