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Critical Analysis #1

Midnight Waltz

Red Letter
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 85
Allentown, PA

0 posted 1999-07-16 08:13 PM

Thick night
has woven gloves
blind around my face -
Somewhere,
I welcome this echo
calling to me like the enchantment of lovers
in repressed screams
of my own awareness

Break my body open
Reveal yourself!
(hidden underneath shadows cast
the hollows cry from between my bones)
Still, I shudder empty
restlessness, my partner
shadows tripping over time
Where is your hand
that I may waltz steady into dreams
where heroes wait,
where my own cape is alive and full of magic
that we may ride our souls upon this moonbeam?

In twilight I dance -
night rising within me
a thousand fireflies alight
in the navy of my boundries

I curse the gravity
mating with my feet
My soul bursts willingly,
running with the shadows instead
into stars' silent song

Daniel2
Junior Member

since 1999-07-13

Posts 28
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

1 posted 1999-07-18 01:21 AM

Sorry, Red Letter, but I don't get it. ???
I don't understand the individual images and less how they connect with one another. I will await your gift of enlightenment and also hope that others get more than I did. I guess we're even in our ignorance. Oh well, a cucumber has 2 ends.

Red Letter
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 85
Allentown, PA

2 posted 1999-07-19 08:29 PM

Well, at least we know we weren't intellectual twins, seperated at birth, eh? hehehe

Actually, I have made some extensive revisions on this one and will post soon. I am hoping that with the revisions, it will be a bit clearer...

Thanks for the comment

AWhere
New Member

since 1999-07-18

Posts 4
Eastern Shore, USA

3 posted 1999-07-19 11:21 PM

"ride our souls upon this moonbeam"... excellent...

"Thick night/has woven gloves/blind around my face"... good god, great line

"shadows tripping over time"... fabulous, excellent

"I curse the gravity/mating with my feet"... very vivid line.

You are quite the talent, Red. But I already knew that. hehehe. I liked this one. No need for revision as far as I'm concerned.

;-) dp-- who was that masked person?

------------------
I am AWhere.

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