»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
the hill in the forest
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
the hill in the forest |
|
|
allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road 
|
the hill in the forest is wild and gently green silent shafts of sunlight dance on bobbing branches creaking like grounded sailboats in the summer breeze as i walk, head lost in the sky the spongy moss cuddles my feet i could soon be swallowed whole submerged in a new green world but smiling still i smell the peat fires on the moor smoky brown visions waft round me and i see the bracken that will be when the glorious ripeness is gone all is a season within seasons and everything is right on time... tramping to the hilltop i find a corner where tiny green worlds move slowly lost far down where it's quiet and feeling at home and dreamy i lie and catnap in the sun watching blue flickering skies through half closed eyes while the hill breathes around me still [This message has been edited by allan (edited 05-19-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Allan Tierney - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Nice imagery. Here's my critique: I'm not certain what you were trying to accomplish with color change, but I would recommend leaving it all one color because I was distracted by it. I didn't like "catnap" I got a nice nature-seasonal feeling from this poem, but I am uncertain about any additional meaning. Kirk T Walker Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
||
|
allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
Thanks Kirk. You're quite right - I lost the colour change. There wasn't any additional meaning - just musing dreamily...  |
||
|
Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
i like this. lush and thick with delicious imagery. and who said all poems have to be about something. a little dreaminess, especially this artfully done is wonderful sometimes (certainly oscar wilde would agree  )luv Elyse Do I contradict myself? Very well then . . . . I contradict myself; I am large . . . . I contain multitudes. -Papa Walt |
||
|
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
allan the images and atmosphere were so authentic and convincing they transported me straight up to a little pile of stones we just bought in the highlands of Scotland .. great job philip |
||
|
allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
Thank you Elyse & Poertree! Very glad you liked this... The forest, (wood rather) I was dreaming of is called Mugdock Wood. It's near my home town in Scotland, Milngavie... Where in Scotland is your little pile of stones Poertree? [This message has been edited by allan (edited 05-19-2000).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
