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Critical Analysis #1
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Roadkill (because what better topic is there for poetry?)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Roadkill (because what better topic is there for poetry?) |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Roadkill by Kirk T Walker You lie in the sun Burnt and black. You started across, But got knocked back. Perhaps you were near To the otherside, But stopped to boast And then you died. Its hard to tell by Just the track Of a big trucktire Across your back. Was it bravery That finally led Your furry mass To this bloodshed? Was it your lack of Aptitude That led to your fate As vulture's food? Alas, you won't tell Why you have bled, But, lie in the heat Rotting, dead. [This message has been edited by Kirk T Walker (edited 05-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kirk T Walker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
this reminds me of Shel Silverstein. ('ceptin this is a little more morbid  )seriously tho, if you mebbe lightened it up a teeny bit, it'd be great  luv Elyse Do I contradict myself? Very well then . . . . I contradict myself; I am large . . . . I contain multitudes. -Papa Walt |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Yuuuuuckckckck! Morbid isn't the word for it! Just the images, Kirk, not your words which created those images. You did a wonderful job with that, but somehow I wish it wouldn't have been quite so well-done. Every time I pass an animal that's been hit on the road, I turn away...can't look. I feel so sorry for them. If they were someone's pet, a dog or cat, then I really feel bad...for the animal and the owner. I think I'm rambling, so I'll just say...nice work...not a nice subject. Kris< !signature--> the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 05-15-2000).] |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Kirk, This was fun to read. My only suggestion would be to try to give the ending some punch or some twist. We already know it's dead. Brad |
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Robin Junior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 48Cardiff, Wales, UK |
Veryyyy Nice. I like the question raised about the reason for the death. They always seem so meaningless don't they? Well done Robin |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Thanks for the comments. This poem is just one of many which were inspired while commuting to and from college. When you drive an hour there and an hour back you have a lot of time to think, observe things, and, yes, even contemplate the sigifigance of rotting carcasses. My empathy for these creatures is sincere, however, I thought it best to keep the poem light and humorous. Elyse: I have read Silverstien ever since I got a copy of Where The Sidewalk Ends as a child. I have read it cover to cover many many times. I guess it is creeping into my style a little. I'm not sure how I could get much lighter, especially considering my subject is carrion. Thanks for the comments. Kris: Thanks for reading it and commenting despite the "yuckiness". I feel the same way about the road kill, but when you drive as much as I do (and on country highways) there is a lot of it. Despite the light take on the gory subject, I really do feel sorry for them. Brad: I'm glad it was fun. Thanks for the suggestion. Robin: Thanks for your comments. Yes, their deaths do seem rather pointless. I wonder if natural selection will help decrease roadkill over time? |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Morbid Subject, I would have liked to have seen a deeper meaning for putting me through the pain of dead things. --) We humans - are the total cause of this problem. Without our cars - those little guys may have been survivors. Mankind has caused this ----we are the only creatures that destroy natural selection. Without us, there would be no road kill --( I would have loved to see an ending with' a solution to the pioneering animals trying to get to the other side of the road against our metal dinosaurs. But, alas I found a dead thing. The poem has rhythm and great imagery, sob --- netswan netswan |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
netswan: Sorry, I took so long to respond to your comments. I really wanted this poem to be mostly for fun, I'm afraid a deeper meaning would have a tacked on effect unless I rewrote the entire poem with a different style and from a different perspective. I'm not sure that I could make a meaningful poem indicating that roadkill is a byproduct of technology or the automobile industry, etc. I don't really think that humans "destory" natural selection, althought I think we play a role in it. What I meant by natural selection in my earlier comment was that, perhpas, over time animals whose instincts tell them not to cross the roads or to do it quickly, etc. would have their genes passed on and nature would fix part of the problem. In response to your comment, "But alas I found a dead thing." I must respond "Yes!" That was sort of the point. Roadkill just is. I'm sorry if I disappointed you with my lack of roadkill romance, but I'm glad that you commented on my poem anyway. Thanks again for the comments! Kirk T Walker |
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ashley Junior Member
since 2002-10-31
Posts 10U.S. |
Very good use of imagery. This shows the humerous side of poetry. Yet if an animal activist found this offensive you could be sued. |
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