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Critical Analysis #1
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SoulMates
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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SoulMates |
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LoveRidden New Member
since 2000-05-14
Posts 1 |
Soul Mates He knows all my thoughts and wishes. He speaks to my mind, heart, and soul in a way no one else could every attempt. I need not tell him when I am upset for he knows even before one word is uttered from my lips. He senses my every mood and reacts to me in a way only my soulmate could, hes my equal, the only one I can ever share my whole true being with. We speak without speaking, think without thought. Its an inner communication that only we can utilize, that only we understand. Our relationship seems so complicated but in reality is so very simple. We know our place in life, our place in each others hearts. Its often very comforting knowing you have found that one person who completes you, the one with whom you share everything you have within you. You know the person inside out, you know their dreams, hopes, wishes, their ups and downs, their highs and lows. This is the one and only person I will ever feel totally safe with and understood by. He's the keeper of my heart, the completer of my soul, the master of my mind. I know him as well as I know myself. As far As I am concerned thats all I really need to know, that I have that one person in this world with whom I need not explain myself. Can you tell me what you think of my poem? |
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| © Copyright 2000 LoveRidden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Welcome to Passions, LoveRidden I like your poem ---it is just chalk full of love and heart warming sweetness. Since in your one line you have ups and downs, I would take out highs and lows -- as that is redundant and doesn't need to be there. Have fun in Passions. There are some outstanding people in here! netswan |
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Snb4everm Junior Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 38 |
Very beautiful. Actually reminds me of my husband. |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
hey sug! my thought is to pare it down a bit. you've got lots of sentence-like lines, and that can work, but only with rhyme. i think if you try to "say without saying" (as my fav. poetry teacher used to say) you'll have a much tighter more emotionally powerful piece. welcome to passions  luv Elyse Do I contradict myself? Very well then . . . . I contradict myself; I am large . . . . I contain multitudes. -Papa Walt |
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