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Critical Analysis #1

Death IN Vegas- isha

rene
Member

since 2000-04-24

Posts 113

0 posted 2000-04-24 02:15 PM

the lights on your horizon swell
with promises of crimson lips
i lost my soul
my dak desires
pulled me into your eclipse
And set me on a funeral pyre
(deep as a well)

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2000-04-26 03:05 AM

Can't help but feel that you're playing around with some Indian or Hindu images here. This would be great if you expanded on that image or tried a comparison with the funeral pyre and some images of Vegas. Drop the rhymes -- I don't think they help. Is 'dak' a word or a typo (I hope it's a word and a word I just don't know). Give this one the time it is due.

Just some thoughts,
Brad

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