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Critical Analysis #1
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Housewives
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Housewives |
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Wordshaman Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 110Illinois, USA |
Elmhurst housewives with opulently unaware eyes-- I meet up with them once in awhile at McDonald's, When they're taking their children out to play In the outdoor Playland. Some are active in their child's lives, And others escape into a book they hold like a savior-- Often some trashy, tawdry romance novel That reminds them of what could've been In the days before marriage. I pity them And simultaneously damn their conflicted interests. They're women who dream of cake While eating up their supportive husbands. Men who break their backs to give ungrateful Daydreamer wives what they want, But obviously can't Because they're still themselves. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Greg Butler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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tig Junior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 10 |
housewives, who plan to cherish share,and live her dream are usually brought down by one little thing what might that be word? |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
You've got to be joking with this one, Word. Men as victims? Again, I think you've got to do some serious rethinking with this poem. You're taking more or less standard and superficial observations without even touching on the complexity of the human condition for both men and women. Perhaps this is a rebellion against political correctness? For the record, I'm not particularly fond of writing that simply reverses this dichotomy -- women as victims to the power plays of men. I don't find this dichotomy very useful the more I understand relationships between men and women. Also, have you ever read one of those tawdry and trashy romance novels? I don't see how you can (although perhaps some people mistakenly yearn for a simpler world) see any connection between escapist literature and the world as we live in it. Here, you seem to be suggesting that marriage is the culprit, the enemy of a Romantic/romantic life. I just disagree with that one. I did like the 'savior' line though. Brad |
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tig Junior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 10 |
wow, I came back for some bashing.. but, Brad lmao.. well done Brad ! |
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Wordshaman Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 110Illinois, USA |
I wouldn't make a blanket statement about the institution of marriage, nor wives in general. You read it as that, but I was subjectively talking about these women, these types of women. There was a vindictive, evil nature to these women that I can't explain. I just got this "feeling" from the looks in their eyes. They had demons, Brad. I've known girls like that. You make a blanket statement about women always being the victims in a relationship--you should get out more. You've never seen a gold digger before. Take a look at the Las Vegas Casino Murder Trial right now. That's the kind of girl I'm talking about, if she did it. These girls just happen to be latching on to guys who do body-breaking labor to earn a living. It's sad, and I know I nearly became one of these guys. Very close. That's why I come across so abrasive, maybe, but it's my opinion of these women. Not all women. Just these gold diggers. Wordshaman There is no Devil. Just God when He drinks. --Tom Waits |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Then why not make that clearer? Why not approach this theme in a slightly different manner than generalization? I'm well aware that women like this exist but why not explore the conflicts within these women in more depth; they may be in denial but you don't have to be. I'm pretty sure I know what you're seeing but think you should spend more time showing us that image (concentrating on just one woman perhaps) and less time moralizing. Muddy the thing up a bit. Brad |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Sorry, Words, though the writing was good, the content of this one really ticked me off. That is all I will say... Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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tig Junior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 10 |
word, when I first read this it ticked me off too... but while (as a housewife) I was mowing the lawn.... I started to feel sorry for you...looks as if you were the one walking around with his eyes shut...tig |
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PrincessPoet Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 133Long Beach, Calif. |
There's nothing wrong with opinion Word So Long as you don't forget the Housewives who do Cook, Clean, have Dinner ready, support the Children, refine and prepare them for life run the errands etc, etc; So long as you DO know that they are out there. A Dream for you to follow; A Goal for you to set; A Plan for you to make; A Project for you to begin; An Idea for you to act on; A Possibility for you to explore; An opportunity for you to grab; A Choice for you to make. If not you shouldn't have anything to talk about. Just words to walk by. I'll look 2 read more of your work (Smile) Poetry & Frienship, From: PrincessPoet |
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Beverly Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 123New Mexico |
Word, Your expression of how you felt is very clear in you work. I think that if you had nice things to say about the good wives in the poem too, you might not have ticked so many people off. Remember, not EVERY woman is ALL bad, just as not EVERY woman is ALL good either. It just would have made the poem more balanced (good vs. bad) especially for the female reader. |
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whipsnade Junior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 40 |
Remind me to stay the hell out of Elmhurst!!! whipsnade |
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