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Critical Analysis #1

The Pain I Hide

Lady Web
Member

since 2000-04-12

Posts 96
Houston, Texas

0 posted 2000-04-14 02:01 AM

Testing the waters
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[This message has been edited by Lady Web (edited 04-15-2000).]

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2000-04-15 03:05 PM

Not quite sure what you want to do here. You talk about hiding your pain and yet wearing it on your sleeve at the same time. Without details, it's hard to get a real grasp of the situation you wish to show the reader. I've never been a big fan of poems that attempt to explain a feeling without some anchor in a real situation or concrete images to show us the feeling. I think that the more universal you try to make a poem, the more you lose the essential and individual feeling that you wish to portray.

Also, I think you need to work on a more consistent voice.

Is this your first post at CA? Welcome and if you can put up with my above comments, hang around. Know that I certainly mean you no ill will, just want to show you what I think (which you can always choose to ignore) and wish to know what you think about other poems being posted here.

Brad

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