Critical Analysis #1 |
D'e J`a Vu ..........................................................from#6 |
Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
D'e J`a Vu ~~~ Again the ancient door creaks and groans pushing back dust barely settled from time immortal ~ Through swirling fog a distant light explodes with deafening twisting truths ~ The ground shatters beneath my feet as I hover helplessly above a boiling hideous vortex ~ The voice of truth explodes from above each shockwave progressively weights me down ~ I lift my legs to avoid the searing pain as nauseously blistered hands take hold ... ~ and my scream is but a gurgle ~ Unconsiousness welcome but never met the screaming pain still rising yet each fibre ripped apart to molecular particle ~ Riding the vortex of purification ... ~ Separating sins from soul ... ~ Then finally ... ~ Spit out the tail only to be caught by the uterine web With the voice of truth still taunting ~ " better luck this time " ~~~ [This message has been edited by Rex Allen McCoy (edited 04-05-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Rex Allen McCoy - All Rights Reserved | |||
bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
Rex, I think you should consider rewriting this poem as though you were making something. Perhaps an embroidery of some sort? Best of luck to you, bboog |
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Malcolm Coleman Junior Member
since 2000-04-02
Posts 24United Kingdom |
You have a great imagination, and a vivid way with words. I have to say I liked this. I had to read it twice, because the realisation of what you were describing came at the end, but this is definitely not a bad thing! Well done Malcolm ** It seems I've waited years for this day to end. - Ronan Harris Thanks for reading, hope you're still awake. |
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