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Marionette
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Marionette |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV 
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You know how to, Pull my strings. You control me, Every move I make. Every tear that falls, You are in control. A marionette, Nothing but a toy. You play with my heart, Along with my mind. You draw me so close Then push me away. I am not a toy, I am a human. I will no longer, Do what you tell me to. Your trying to, Control me again. I'm not going, To let you anymore. (if ya ever wanna chat, you can IM me on AOL: sexikitticat -or- pom16pom) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Tamma M. Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Diana B Member
since 2000-03-10
Posts 97 |
i found the most interesting thing in this poem was the way you paced the lines...made me feel that indeed you were unable to speak until somene pulled your strings |
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Marq Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222 |
I think your message far outstrips your poetry here. I'd re-write this only this time concentrate on how poetic you can make your lines rather than just telling somebody off. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Tamma: Welcome to CA. I think you have a good idea here but I don't think you have really considered all of the possibilities at your disposal with the marrionette idea. Sure, we all know a marrionette is a toy controlled with strings. What you haven't convinced me of in your poem is of your (?) real helplessness. What gave this person such power over the person in the poem that he could manipulate her every thought and feeling with the tug of a string? I would suggest giving this more thought, exploring the clever ways you can tie in the marrionette theme in your poem and use what you have now as the skeleton of your work. Just my opinion. |
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